The Dumped Club

22- Come Back

I felt my eyes drooping by five pm and I hadn't even had dinner. Amy and I had agreed to have a studying party even though we were both dead tired and drained from the school day. The Year 9 exams were also arriving pretty soon and I knew that I should start preparing sooner or later. Our school was also introducing us to the GCSE exam boards and units so I might as well start early as to not muddle things up in my brain.

"How was Prudence?" Amy mumbled from the pile of English guides and textbooks.

"Slightly pissed off, tired and stubborn but we managed to cheer her up a bit,"

"It's only normal."

"I guess."

We continued working in silence, her at her desk while I was in the corner of the room with a bunch of cushions and pillows around me. I willed my hand to continue writing notes and my eyes to stay open. It was when Amy started snoring did I realise that we both needed a break and to eat some food.

I heard my phone ping and looked at the notifications. It was a message from Pen&Paper and I decided to click on it and see what was going on. I hadn't opened up Pen&Paper in a few weeks- I had still written but I hadn't posted anything or replied to any of my messages.

Lara: @hfebland Have you heard about what happened to Ivy?

StrawberryDodie: @hfebland Do you know anything about Ivy's situation?

jellyfishmusic: @hfebland What's going on with Ivy?

Stones settled in my stomach and my heart jumped in my throat as my eyebrows drew together and I searched for Ivy's profile. I clicked her activity to see that the last thing she had voted on was the latest chapter of "Gorgon's Blood" six weeks ago. But then I found the latest message on her wall.

Dear Ivisons,

This is written by Ivy's sister, Ava. You've all wanted to know what happened to Ivy. You've all been curious as to why she has been so absent and why she hasn't replied to any comments or why she didn't give a notice.

I don't know how to give you the news without being blunt instead of sugar coating the situation. Ivy has struggled with chronic depression, anxiety and suicidal thoughts for over three years and she took her life out on the 20th March. Our family has grieved for a long time and the pain still remains. We'll always remember her, love her, cherish her but we know that you will also miss her books, her characters and her quirky author's notes. She left me a letter along with a note to share with her readers.

To my readers,

Thank you for being the most loyal people I have ever known. Thank you for taking me from the ground up. Thank you for supporting me from the beginning and I'm sorry it has to end this way. I can't handle it anymore. Please don't grieve for me, go out and enjoy the life that I wanted to enjoy. I believe in you all.

Ivy

My eyes searched for more, searched for a note that said "THIS IS A PRANK! HAPPY APRIL FOOLS!" but there was nothing. There was a single moment of shock before I felt my whole being erupt in a volcanoe of messy emotions.

She was gone. Janelle was gone. I could've gone too.

The world spun around me and all I could hear was the rapid beat of my heart and the buzz of invisible bees surrounding my head. My heart throbbed sixty-one beats a minute and it felt like every cell in my body was trying to escape from the storm my brain had created. It was like a plague of a broken white noise spreading in my body and I was frozen in place by the sloppy den I had created.