Boys Like Boys [Nico di Angelo]

chapter sixteen

  When the cabin door slammed shut, I instantly got up and began pacing the room. When my two weeks were up, I'd be Atë's apprentice, or assassin, or whatever she'd have me do.

  Atë's Assassin. Had a nice ring to it.

  "No, it doesn't," I whispered to myself, running my fingers through my hair. Too much was going on. "Why me?" I murmured, tugging at my hair. "Why did it have to be me?!"

You're the only son of Thanatos in existence, Veda's voice resonated through my head. I remember her saying that when I asked why she had to protect me. What was she protecting me from? Atë?

  No. She was with Atë. She was there to get me to join the goddess.

Traitor. Traitor. Traitor.

  "Traitor!" I screamed, throwing Nico's lamp off of the nightstand. It shattered against the floor and I liked the way it sounded. I grabbed the nightstand and threw it against the wall, hearing the wood splinter and litter the floor. It was so satisfying, and I didn't have the slightest idea why. "Why me?! Why did Atë choose me?! What did I do to deserve this?!" I cried out in the empty cabin, throwing Nico's nightstand across the room. "Why was I born?!"

  Whatever I could break, I threw it. Then, I clawed the covers and sheets off of the beds and threw them across the room. The walls had dents and marks in it. Broken glass and wood dusted the floor. I screamed one more time, angrily, before I fell to the ground and sobbed into my hands.

  I cried too much. I lost my temper too much. I was a loose cannon. I was an emotional wreck.

  I sobbed and screamed until I had nothing left. I curled up on the floor and just let the the tears fall.

  I think I fell asleep. Maybe I was drifting between unconcious and conscious, because I remembered arms picking me up and placing me in my bed. I remembered a soft, fluffy blanket falling over me, one I hadn't slept with yet. I remembered hearing the sweeping of a broom and the sound of glass klinking together in a dustpan.

  Then, I remembered something being pressed against my forehead. It felt like another forehead, but I wasn't exactly sure.

  "I'm going to figure this out, Cal," a soft voice whispered as the person pulled away and ran their fingers through my hair. "I hate seeing you like this. I'll help you through it. I'll fix it. I'll fix you." His voice wavered as he took a deep breath. "I'm sorry."

  The hand was gone. The voice was gone. A different bed creaked and silence fell over the room.

  That's when I fell asleep.

---

I was woken up by someone screaming. I shot up and quickly looked around the cabin, only to see Nico sitting up as well, wide-eyed and gasping for breath. I quickly got up and walked over to him softly, placing a hand on his back.

"Are you okay?" I whispered and watched as tears slipped down his cheeks.

"I-I was there again," he murmured, his eyes staring straight ahead as more tears wet his cheeks. I leaned over and softly brushed them away.

"Where?" I asked and he choked back a sob.

"Tartarus."

The way he said it sent cold shivers down my spine. I didn't know where or what that was, but it was obvious Nico had obtained trauma from it.

"You're not there," I said softly as my fingertips rubbed his back lightly. "You're here with me, in your cabin at camp."

"I-I know," he whispered. "I know."

I sat down in front of him and took his hand in mine, resting it on my knee. He gave me a small, grateful smile, but tears still swam in his hurt eyes. I rubbed his knuckles with my thumb and just sat there with him, knowing that if we needed to talk about anything, we could.

"Remember when I said I knew you weren't a monster because I've seen monsters before?" he asked quietly and I nodded. "That's where I saw them. Tartarus. I was alone," he whimpered, stifling a sob with his free hand. I pulled the hand away from his mouth and cupped the back of his neck, bringing our foreheads together as I kept our eyes locked, making sure he knew I was there for him. His eyes fluttered shut, so mine did too. "Thank you," he whispered, his voice calm and even. I didn't say anything, because we both knew I didn't have to.

"Do you think you can go back to sleep?" I asked and he pulled away, shaking his head.

"Sorry, I just-"

"No, no, it's okay," I assured him, removing my hand from his neck. "We can do something to pass the time," I offered softly. "Do you have any card games?"

"Yeah, I have this thing called Skip-Bo," he said and I felt myself laugh at the name. He gave me a small smile, before reaching over into his nightstand. I felt my eyebrows furrow.

"How did you..."

"I stole one of Leo's. He doesn't use the ones in his cabin anyway," Nico informed with a shrug, causing me to laugh again. We sat on the floor and he taught me how to play, before we began. The rounds were really long, so we only got through a couple before I started feeling drowsy again. He noticed me yawn, before a smile fell over his face. "Can I show you something?" I nodded and he grabbed my hand, helping me up, before he pulled down a string connected to the ceiling. A ladder came down with it, so Nico and I climbed up it. He unlocked something and pulled me up.

We were on the roof. I saw streaks of pink painting the black sky and realized the sun was rising. Nico and I sat down and watched it, but my eyes began to grow heavy. Nico wrapped an arm around me as I leaned my head against his shoulder, yawning.

My eyes fluttered shut and I fell asleep again.