Boys Like Boys [Nico di Angelo]

chapter twenty-two

'You can't run from this, Calum,' a familiar voice called. No, it can't be him. 'Eventually you'll have to own up to what you've done.'

'Atê promised she'd leave me alone!' I cried out, desperately knocking anything down to slow whoever was following me as I ran as fast as I could.

'What makes you think this is Atê's doing?'

Suddenly, a figure appeared in front of me and I scrambled back. Light filled the room and I noticed who it was.

'Bobby,' I choked out as he pulled a gleaming knife from behind his back.

'It's time for me to teach you a lesson, I think,' he mused, before he snapped and I was instantly tied to a chair. He walked around my chair like a shark watching an injured prey. 'For all those years you put a burden on my life.'

'No, please, I swear I didn't mean to-' I was cut off by my own scream as he buried the knife into my stomach.

Suddenly, I came to and realized I was sitting up in my bed, my voice sore for some reason, and a cold sweat dripping down my face. I checked my stomach for a wound and didn't find one. Instantly, I collapsed into a sobbing heap against my pillows, wetting them with my tears.

I turned in my bed to see Nico awake, casually reading a book, as if I hadn't just screamed and sobbed my voice away. The sight just made me cry harder, so I turned away from him and clutched my pillow desperately, using it to muffle my sobs.

I didn't know how long it was - maybe an hour, maybe the whole night - but I cried whatever I had left. After I was finished, my head hurt and my chest ached and my voice was hoarse. The occasional tear slipped down my face, but other than that, dried tracks made my face stiff.

I felt cold and empty, betrayed and hurt. Nico always comforted me after my nightmares, but now he was sitting there reading like it had never happened. He acted like I didn't depend on him to get through my day and that he was the only reason I hadn't succumbed to Atê's darkness yet. He acted like I wasn't totally head-over-heels for him. If he wanted to play that game, I would as well.

I wanted to scream some more, but I didn't. Instead, I let the brokenness invade my thoughts and found myself crying again.

A weight pressed into the bed next to me. I felt my breath hitch as someone's chest pressed up against my back and their legs tangle with mine, before an arm was thrown casually over my waist. My face flushed, and butterflies swarmed my stomach instantly, but I stomached it and focused on my anger.

"Cal, I'm sorry," Nico whispered to me, his words sounding sincere and broken. "I just-"

"I don't need your apologies," I snapped angrily, removing his arm from my waist.

"Cal, I said I'm sorry," he murmured out, his voice cracking. "And I realize that how I've been acting doesn't exactly display that, but...I just really care about you. Seeing you..." he trailed off, before sighing deeply to himself. "When you were with Atê, when you were strangling her...your eyes were so dark and dangerous. You were so powerful. It was terrifying," he trailed off, his breath tickling the back of my neck. "I'm sorry, Callie."

  My heart fluttered at the new nickname, but my resentment overtook it. Darkness spread through my chest. I wanted him to pay for hurting me like he did. I wanted him to feel sorry and I wanted him to feel the pain that I did.

"I looked like a monster," I breathed out angrily, and I felt him take a deep breath behind me.

"No. You never will. Stop saying that," he demanded, before I felt him turn me around so that our faces were so close, our noses were touching. My upper lip twitched as I fixed the meanest glare I could on his face. His expression fell, his eye searching mine desperately. I wouldn't let up. I wouldn't give in.

"Cal?" he asked softly, scared out of his wits. The room was incredibly dark, but my eyes had adjusted so that I could see Nico. He leaned his forehead against mine, which was our thing. I pulled back from him, and I could tell his heart was breaking by the pain in his eyes. Good, one part of my brain resonated. Stop hurting him, the other side said. Which one was really me? Which one was a spawn of Atë's darkness? I didn't know. "I'm really sorry, Cal," he choked out, but I ignored the pain in my chest.

  "Go to sleep, Nico," I said monotonously. His eyes searched mine, wide, desperate, and hurt. His bottom lip quivered, before his eyes went cold and a steely look replaced his once hurt one.

  "Fine," he murmured angrily, moving to his own bed. I turned away from him and closed my eyes, but a voice stopped me from sleeping.

  "You know what the saddest thing is, Cal?" Nico asked, trying to be strong but somewhat failing. "We were so close to you having your powers under control. Now you're too in control of them. Everything would've been perfect if Atë hadn't come along."

  "I know," I whispered, hearing him sigh.

  "Good night, Cal."

  I didn't respond.