Chapter 17

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A week had gone by, and Emma hadn't talked to Killian at all. But he never made an effort to get her attention either. Everyday, she would sneak glances at him, hoping he was already looking at her, but he never was. He was always to interested in what his new friends had to say.

"You have to forget about him, Emma," Graham said, catching her attention. "A guy like that isn't worth your time." She glanced over at her friends, and they were all nodding in agreement.

"I know." She turned back to her food on her tray. "It sucks. I really thought he was different."

"You are going to get your heart broken so many times. We all are."

Emma took one last glance at Killian before getting up throwing away her trash. When she turned around to walk back to her table, she ran right into someone. "Sorry, love." She heard his accented voice say from above her. He held his hand out for her to help her up, but she ignored him and got up herself.

"I don't need your help," she spat at him.

"You're still mad at me?"

She turned around and glared at him. "Mad is an understatement." She went back to her table, leaving Killian hurt and alone. When she got back, Graham wasn't there. She looked at Ruby, Elsa, and Anna. "Do you guys want to have a sleepover at my house tonight? My parents are going on a weekend getaway for their anniversary, and they said I could have a few friends over if I wanted."

"Yeah, sounds like fun," Ruby said with a smile. "I'll be there."

"So will we," Anna said.

"Good," Emma said. A real smile forming on her face. She couldn't remember the last time she hadn't had to fake one.

After school, Emma went home alone. Ruby had a quick shift at her grandmother's diner, and Elsa and Anna had to finish their homework. When Emma went up to her bedroom to put her book bag down on her bed, she caught sight of Killian's journal. After she had managed to finally get him out of her head, all thoughts of him returned. She grabbed the journal and brought it downstairs with her, and stared at it on the coffee table. It was times like these when she really missed her Killian. The Killian that would knock on the wall in response to a question. The Killian that she would see in her dreams and hug and kiss him whenever she would see him. The Killian that never pretended she didn't exist. Without realizing it, she had picked up his journal and tossed it across the room. There was a knock at the door, and she cautiously looked at it. Her friends weren't coming over for another hour. She went over to the journal and put it back on the coffee table before going to the door. Emma looked out the window, and could already feel her tears welling behind her eyes at the sight of Killian.

"Don't you have a senior party you should be at?" She asked when she opened the door.

"Emma, please listen to me."

"Make it quick," she crossed her arms over her chest. "If you're here too long, someone might see you."

"Stop it!"

"No!"

"This is the longest conversation that we've had since that first night I came back. I've been calling you it in my head, but I miss my Swan."

"Only my friends and family get to call me that!" She hissed.

Killian flinched, "I'm really sorry, love."

"So you've said before. Get out of here before your new friends see you."

"All that matters is that you see me." He cupped her cheek, and it took everything inside of Emma not to fall into his touch. Instead, she pushed his hand down, and he took a deep breath as to not break down in tears. "Emma, please."

"Move on from me," she said. She stepped back into the house. "The same way that I moved on from you." After the door had closed, Emma refused to cry. She caught sight of his journal and quickly grabbed it. She opened the door again and saw him walking down the sidewalk. His hands jammed in his pockets and his head was down. "Killian, wait!" She called after him. He looked up and ran to her as she was running to him.

"Yeah, love?" His smile widened with every beat they stood there.

"I uh, wanted to give you your journal back. It's not mine." She held it out for him, but he just looked at it.

"No. I want you to keep it."

She glanced down at him. "Why?"

"You need it more than I. Besides, I already started a new one." Killian smiled.

"You did?"

"Aye. About my new life that I started here. There's not much in it, but it has a few entries in it."

"Thanks for the journal."

"You're welcome, love."

"Goodbye, Killian," she said. Her voice cracked slightly, and she hoped that he hadn't heard it.

"Bye, Emma." He leaned down and kissed her cheek, pulling away before she could feel his tears hit her skin. "I hope to see you around."

"Yeah." Emma could feel his eyes on her as she walked back to her house. She knew that she shouldn't risk a glance back at him, or else she would either break down in tears, or she would run into his arms, and she didn't want either of those things to happen.

She looked down to his journal in her hands. The black leather book had strings around it, keeping it closed. She slid down the door and clutched the book to his chest. After everything they had been through, was this how it was going to end?

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