Today has gone great since our run in with the paparazzi. Kimi and Nando are both testing great. I have been talking to VIP guest about Ferrari and everyone has been happy. I really feel like I’ve had a breakthrough with Kimi. It seems that he is actually going to let me in. To let me help him, and to be his friend. I stood in the garage and watched Kimi take his test laps. As he brought the car in I smiled. He took his helmet off and smiled back at me. Bliss, I was in utter bliss.
“You’re doing great Kimi. You’re going to win for sure.” I smiled like mad.
“What about me?” Fernando whined.
“Babe, you’re doing great too! You two will tie for first.” I assured him.
“You never call me babe.” Kimi grumbled.
“Is that what you want? Babe? Baby doll, honey! I love you both don’t worry!” I playfully patted Kimi’s cheek. Kimi huffed while Nando just laughed. I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket. The said I had received a text from Seb.
‘What are you doing?’ Seb’s text read.
‘Just watching the children (Kimi and Nando). They’re so needy. ;)’ I replied.
‘lol. Hey come get coffee with me.’
‘Coffee? I’m so there.’ I smiled and shoved my phone back into my pocket.
“Where are you going?” Kimi asked as I turned to leave the garage.
“Oh, Seb wanted me to go out and get coffee with him.” I responded.
“Hmph, you know what happened the last time you went to get coffee.” Kimi frowned.
“Don’t get in the car then, boo.” I blew a kiss and then left the garage.
Seb was waiting outside the paddock for me. I linked arms with him and he led be to a nearby coffee shop. Coffee is one of my favorite things in life. Honestly I am not a very good person without it. I ordered the largest thing they had and added extra espresso. We sat at a table in the corner to hopefully avoid fans.
“Was Kimi mad that you came with me?” He sipped his drink.
“No. Why would he be mad?” I raised an eyebrow.
“Oh no reason. You know Kimi he’s always mad about something.” Seb was not a good liar.
“No. You said that for a reason. Why would you expect him to be mad?” I pressed on.
“I don’t know. I can’t tell you. Kimi is my friend.” Seb clammed up.
“Seb.” I whined.
“Look. He just is… protective over you.
“Well I don’t see how its his business.” I pursed my lips. Seb looked at me as if to say ‘you’re just not getting it’.
“Heidi.” his tone was low “Don’t you see the way he looks at you?”
“Like he is constantly annoyed with me? Sure.” I replied.
“No Heidi, you’re oblivious then. He is always watching you. He looks at you like you’re the only thing that matters. And if you can believe it he is in an even worse mood when you are not around.” I didn’t know how to take in this new information. I honestly am not sure I believe what Seb is telling me. I mean I know he wouldn’t lie, but still. Kimi doesn’t look at me like I’m anything special.
“I think you’re mistaken Vettel. Kimi would never see me that way.” I shook my head sadly.
“You’re so stubborn! He does, he does, he does. You two are the exact same. Neither of you will admit you have feelings for each other. Open your eyes Heidi!” Seb raised his voice. He clearly felt strongly “You’re both my good friends. I want you to be happy, together. You’re meant to be together. Just admit it and get together.”
“We’ll see.” I said devoid of emotion. I got up and let the German without another word. Kimi did not feel that way. He could not. No men have ever have true feelings for me. I cannot even fathom someone loving me any more. Once it was my dream, but I have come to accept that I just the Ferrari name to people. No one sees me. I’ve even given up on that girl myself.
I barged into the Ferrari garage. Kimi was standing over the car with the engineer examining something. I made sure to make noise as I entered so that my presence would be noticed. I came in like a raging fire.
“Kimi.” I called harshly
“Woman, what do you need? I am busy fixing car.” He turned to me and grumbled. I would not be ignored.
“Seb says you have feelings for me? Is this true?” I demanded.
“What?” He stammered. “No. Of course not. Seb is idiot, always trying to play matchmaker. Sticking his nose where it does not belong.”
“Great.” I said curtly then turned on my heel and stormed back out of the garage. I had gotten my answer. I had gotten what I wanted. Why did I feel so bad? Why did I feel like my insides were tearing apart. Why are tears now streaming uncontrollably down my face. I couldn’t explain it other than admitting that I was in love. I Heidi Felisa was in love, and the man I love has just told me that he did not share those feelings. I got into my complementary Ferrari and sped to the hotel.
I had been holed up in my room for the past day and a half. I had ignored numerous phone calls and text from Seb, Nando others on the Ferrari team. I sat in the dark sipping straight from a bottle of vodka. I don’t know when I will come out but its certainly not any time soon. I had already cried until I couldn’t cry anymore and now I just felt numb. My had literally broken and I felt dead inside. There was a knock at the door.
“Go Away.” I shouted. I heard the beep from the door unlocking the then the door swung open letting bright light enter the room. Kimi Raikkonen stood in the doorway. The absolute last person I wanted to see. I would have been okay if I never saw him again, in fact that had been part of my plan. Fly somewhere far far away and never see Kimi again. And if someone even brings up formula one I would move somewhere even more remote.
Kimi stepped into the room letting the door swing closed. The room was once again dark. A small amount of light still made it through the curtain though, so I could see his form moving towards me. He grabbed me by the waist and pulled me against him. He roughly pressed his lips against mine. The bottle of vodka slipped from my grasp and clattered onto the floor. I placed on hand behind his neck and the other hand grasped his hair. He kissed me passionately, like I had never been kissed before. It felt like electricity flowing through each touch.
