Chapter 4: Unworthy

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Nessa stared at herself in the mirror, trying to quell the nerves fluttering in her belly as she pulled her hair up. Reba had commandeered the one in the bathroom, her hair dryer and lotions and makeup scattered all over. Nessa opted to skip all that this morning. Somehow, she didn't think eyeliner and mascara would be needed on the ranch. She secretly hoped that the more she did to blend in here, the less interest Thane would have in her.

She couldn't get past his parting words last night when he'd left the room. Had he been implying that he thought of her as "his lady"? Or was that just a generic statement, an effort to teach Rhett how to be a gentleman?

Either way, it left her unnerved. She had never met anyone like the Buchannon men. She had never witnessed the kind of love Troy had for Dorrie. She'd never had a guy who did so much to serve her the way Thane did. And she'd never known a teen dad who filed for sole custody while the mother walked away.

These guys appeared to be too good to be true. Yet she sensed that they were the real deal. They didn't say what they didn't mean. They weren't nice just to gain a girl's physical affections. They worked hard, and, in Bailey's case, played harder.

It was all those reasons she couldn't let Thane in. She couldn't encourage his interest in her because he deserved someone a thousand times better than her.

She looked at her reflection in the mirror, the shame and remorse and regret over her past evident in every feature. She knew God had forgiven her for being so naïve and making such a horrible decision, but that didn't mean she could forgive herself.

She closed her eyes, fighting the wave of guilt that burned her nose and stung her eyes. She would not cry. She would not show up for breakfast with a red nose and blood shot eyes. She didn't want to answer questions about why she'd been crying.

I'm sorry Lord. You know that. Please, just keep me from screwing up anybody else's life.

"Well, I guess I'm ready for breakfast. Do I look as tired as I feel?"

Nessa's eyes flew open, her focus shifting from her own reflection to Reba's. She was relieved to see that while her friend had taken the time to apply her makeup and style her hair, she had at least had the common sense to put on jeans and a t-shirt.

Nessa turned to face her, her ponytail of curls bobbing behind her. "You look gorgeous Reba, as always. And I have a feeling we'll need to get used to being tired if we're going to stay here for the summer."

Reba gave her a sly smile. "Why's that? Plan on having some late nights with a certain brown-eyed cowboy?"

Nessa rolled her eyes, turning away from Reba. "No, because I think we're going to work harder than we've ever worked before." If anyone was going to have late nights with a cowboy, it would be Reba with Bailey. "Come on, I'm hungry."

She pulled the door to their room open, stepping into the hall without checking to see if Reba followed. She heard the other girl's footsteps on the hardwood floor behind her but Reba didn't say anything as they descended the stairs and headed for the kitchen.

The chatter of voices drifted to her ears and when they stepped into the kitchen, five sets of eyes turned in their direction. Dorrie and Troy both looked surprised to see them but Thane and Bailey lit up with smiles.

Bailey motioned for them to join everyone at the table and Thane rose, pulling out the empty chair next to him.

"Good morning ladies. Didn't expect to see your pretty faces so early in the morning," he greeted.

Reba moved to slide into the empty chair next to Bailey, leaving Nessa to join Thane. She murmured a thank you as he slid her chair into the table before sitting back down.

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