Priceless

Chapter 17: Brotherly Love

Thane wondered if Snickers found him as heavy in the saddle as he felt. He'd had plenty of tough days in his twenty-four years, but he couldn't remember one that felt as bad as this. Nessa had kept her distance all day, from the moment she skipped breakfast to the way she'd put her earbuds in and ignored him while they saddled. But it wasn't the physical distance that hurt.

The ever widening emotional chasm between them is what tore him apart.

If he'd felt helpless before to fix Nessa's burdens, he didn't know how to define what he felt now. He had no idea what to say to make any of it better and decided it was best not to try. He'd screwed up. They all had. He deserved Nessa's anger. He just wished she'd express it, confront him, and be willing to work through it.

Instead she'd shut him out like the past two weeks didn't matter or even exist.

He had no idea what she was thinking and feared she would decide to leave. It didn't seem to matter to her that he knew her darkest secret and chose to love her anyway. The fact that he hid his knowledge of the abortion and subsequently shared it with someone else negated everything he'd tried to accomplish.

The situation appeared hopeless. The only thing that kept him going, that kept him from losing it, was the belief that it all still rested in God's hands.

Even now, he didn't doubt God had brought her here. Thane couldn't shake the feeling that he played an important role in her life and that the two of them were meant to find each other. He knew God could take this and salvage it. How, he had no idea. But he had to believe because the alternative was too difficult to think about.

He'd always heard that Satan fought you the hardest when you were about to defeat him. He certainly hoped that was true. He hoped this setback was just an attack because Nessa had been so close to surrendering. He wouldn't stop fighting just because the enemy decided to get in his face.

Nessa's soul still needed healing and that continued to be the most important thing, whether she ever trusted Thane again or not.

That's why, after he'd sat down with Reba and Bailey to rehash what happened the night before, they'd all agreed to go ahead with their ideas for the Pinterest board, playlist, and Bible verses. The only good thing to come from Nessa's distance was the time it allowed him to devise the list and research the verses.

He let his gaze settle on her now, watching as she led the group, conversing easily with the girl in the saddle beside her. Despite being mad at him, she wore the hat he'd bought for her Saturday night. Her black curls were tightly woven into a braid down her back. She looked completely at ease guiding his excursion, swaying in the saddle as if she'd grown up on Honey's back.

If no one knew what hung between them, they wouldn't suspect. She'd been cordial to him all day and the same friendly, easy going guide he'd come to know and expect. To an outsider, they probably appeared to be a well-oiled machine, two co-workers who'd been together so long they worked without thinking.

The reality of it almost made him smile.

Almost.

But the dull ache in his chest kept him from finding any of it the least bit amusing.

Oh, Lord, show me how to fix this. Don't let me ruin what you've tried so hard to build.

He remained a quiet presence at the back of the pack until they made it to the ranch. Bailey met them there as everyone dismounted, ready to talk with the group about their excursion and ask if they'd mind completing a follow up survey.

Thane and Nessa said their good byes, working to tie up the horses in the barns and work on unsaddling them all. She didn't reach for her phone and ear buds right away, so he took a chance at conversation.