Finding Beauty

[15] - Chapter Fifteen

I woke up to the sound of glass breaking and immediately, my body becomes drenched in fear. Kicking the covers off of me, I run my fingers through my messy dark hair and literally crawled out of my bed. As I did so, the sound gradually become louder and when I finally stood up and opened my bedroom door, the sound was almost deafening.

I wanted to just close my eyes and fall back asleep which makes me wonder what time it was. Looking around the room, I saw nothing but my bed and my floor. My dresser, my desks, and closet were gone. That’s why I realized that it was a nightmare.

Taking a deep breath, I walked out of my room and in the hallway where the sound was so loud that I couldn’t hear myself think. I run through the hallways and as I did, the sound became louder and louder. When I finally approached the kitchen, the sound was so loud that I felt like my ears were going to bleed.

Covering my ears, I dropped to my knees and hummed sweet nothings hoping that this will draw the loudness away. Surprisingly it did and the sound was no longer hearable. Standing up, I turned around and gasped in horror.

May laid there on the ground bleeding to death for someone has broke several glass plates across her stomach for her tank top was pulled up a bit so I could see the horror. The glass was cut deeply into her skin which caused the oozing red blood I was seeing. I wanted to help her somehow, but I just stood there wide eyed and open mouthed.

Is this how my insecurity ghost killed her? I suddenly hear a loud crash and literally jumped which led me to fall on the floor. As I do, I look to see Dean who was in the same condition when he came to my house yesterday. I realized that the loud crash was the sound of the car running him over.

Turning to May and then to Dean, I stood there shocked until my stomach bubbles with feelings of guilt and regret. I wanted to sob, but I was too shocked to do so. “You killed them, McKenzie.” I looked up to see my insecurity ghost staring at me with an evil grin on her face. Her hands were covered with May blood’s and pieces of glass. She wore the same pajamas as me and the resemblance between us made my skin crawl.

 “I did not, you did.” I retorted not even bothering to look at her in the eyes any longer. I was on the verge of tears, but I couldn’t shed them.

“Oh, but I’m a part of you remember? I’m your insecurities, just like you are mine,” My insecurity ghost taunted me. “I am you—

“Shut up!” I shouted as I begin to shed my tears. “Shut up, I am not you and I will never be! You evil son of a bitch, rot in hell!” My anger shocked me but I didn’t focus on that too much, the only thing I focused was the horror of the truth.

My insecurities were a part of me, I was insecure. But my insecurities were so strong that developed into a new person or ghost so I didn’t kill them. She was trying to trick me and I will not fall for it. My insecurity ghost laughed at my anger. “I am you, look at the blood on your hands, look at the glass on your palms, and if you do not see it. Then I’m not you.”

I didn’t have time for this, I wasn’t her. She was…oh no. Looking at my hands, I noticed that I had blood and small pieces of glass all over my palms. I screamed as soon I looked up and saw that my ghost wasn’t there anymore.

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I woke up screaming and feeling terrified and covered in cold sweat. As soon as I finished screaming and I was just breathing heavily, my alarm clock rung on cue. Turning it off, I buried my face in my hands and started to weep. You didn’t kill May and you didn’t harm Dean, McKenzie. She is just playing with you. I wanted to believe this and I did, but I was tired of this.