Finding Beauty

[30] - Chapter Thirty

“You won’t get away with this,” My insecurity ghost exclaimed to me as she suddenly appeared in my bedroom. “You aren’t bold--

“No, just stop it!” I retorted. “I’m not afraid of you.”

She gasped, her eyes seeming to glow red but no fear overcame my body. “What?”

“I said I AM NOT AFRAID OF YOU!”

I suddenly woke up to the sound of alarm clock and I shut off realizing what I had said in my dream was correct. I wasn’t afraid of my insecurity ghost anymore, in fact, I was done with her. I didn’t feel insecure any longer and I felt like I could do anything. Months ago, I would’ve fainted if I would have known that I would report abuse to the police, report something illicit to the school board, and suffered the consequences.

But now, I was a new person and this girl was free from any insecurity! Suddenly, my insecurity ghost appeared before me and I looked up at her. Her skin looked pale as snow and jet black tears streamed down her bloody and red eyes. She was starting to not look like me and I knew it was a good thing.

Suddenly, she was fading and as soon as she opened her mouth to scream, I felt a sharp pain overcome my body. I starting screaming too and at first I was confused, but then I realized my insecurities were once a part of me which is why I can feel the pain. Soon enough, my insecurity ghost faded into nothingness and the pain was gone.

Instead, I felt better and more confident about myself. I was beautiful, I was bold, and I was not suicidal. I was loved and I was in control not my insecurity ghost, not Austen, and certainly not Kale. Insecurities brought me down for a while but they can be lifted; I couldn’t wait to tell Mary Anne about everything!

Suddenly, my phone beeped indicating a message and I pulled myself out of bed. As soon as I approached my dresser, I picked up my phone and smiled happily when I saw that it was from Dean: Mind if I give you a ride today? (:

Smiling back, I replied: Sure thing :D

As soon as I texted back, he replied back a beat later:

Alright, I’ll be there in an hour.

Putting my phone down, I walked towards the bathroom and felt the bump at the back of my head. Thankfully, it went down and the bruise on my stomach was almost completely healed. The bruise on my cheek was still visible but it was going down as well. I washed my face, put on foundation, put on concealer, mascara, eyeliner, pink baby lips, and eye shadow.

When I was done, I was satisfied and then I combed and brushed my dark brown hair. When I was done, I braided my hair and smiled at myself. “You are beautiful,” I whispered to myself and this time I believed it.

When I was done with my makeup and hair, I went back into my room and picked out my outfit. I picked out blue high waisted shorts, the shirt that Dean let me keep which was actually a gray Calvin Harris t-shirt, and then I was topped it off with my blue cardigan. And since the shirt was pretty big, I made sure to pin it. When I was done getting ready, I made up my bed and packed up my backpack making sure to grab my phone.

As soon as I opened the door, a fresh aroma filled my nose and I gasped in shock as I realized one of my parents cooked breakfast! It’s been awhile since they have cooked and I missed it. Walking towards the kitchen, I saw my parents eating chocolate waffles, bacon, eggs, and strawberries.

When my mother saw me, she smiled. “Good morning dear, I baked some breakfast. Would you like some, I made you a plate?”

“Sure thing mom,” I said as I walked up to them and tossed them hugs not even caring that they were eating. It was a habit I used to do when I was younger and my parents were often annoyed by it, but I thought it was fun.