American Sweethearts

70

"I think I'm going to be sick," I say, squeezing onto Tylers arm.

"I told you, you don't have to do this," he says.

"Yes, I do," I breathe. "She's your mother. I have to meet her eventually."

"Are you sure? Because we can do this another time. It doesn't have to be tonight."

"I can do this. I want to."

"Are you sure?"

"yes," I insist. "You have told her about me, right?"

"She already likes you, Sarah. She's dying to meet you."

"She doesn't hate me, does she?"

"No," he scoffs. "Why would she?"

"I don't know.... She could blame me for what happened."

"She doesn't. She knows it was her fault. How could she not? She's been in prison for years now."

"But I'm the reason she's there!"

"No, it isn't. It was her own fault."

"Tyler...," I sigh.

"Everything's going to be okay," he assures me, pressing a kiss against my forehead. I take a deep breath, leaning into him.

"Alright," I nod. "Let's do this."

We walk over the parking lot hand-in-hand. It's dark outside, but the prison has extended visiting hours for the holiday. I spent the entire two hour drive debating whether or not to go inside with him. But everything has been going so well for me, I think I can handle it. I want to meet Phoebe, I'm just worried about Lee.

I just feel like I need to do this for Tyler. He's close with his mother, and regardless of what she's done, she still may be a lovely person. And I owe it to them, and myself, to meet her. My therapist used to tell me it may reduce my feelings or guilt, or at least make me understand the situation better. I was just a kid when it happened, after all.

By the time we reach the building, my heart is pounding in my chest. There are officers everywhere, but I don't feel safe at all. Tyler pulls the entrance door open, letting me step into the lobby. It's quiet here, just as I'd expect. There are plastic chairs lined up against the walls, and metal detectors blocking us from the rest of the building. There are only two people here -- a woman at the reception, and a young girl speaking to her. She looks just like Tyler, except... girly.

She's got curly hair like he does, except hers is tied up in a high pony tail. She's wearing black skinny jeans, run down Doc Martens, and a ripped Linkin Park band tee. Her eyeliner is winged to perfection, perfectly complimenting her dark purple lipstick.

"Pheebs," Tyler heads towards her, dragging me towards her.

"Ah, see?" she tells the attendant, aggressively waving towards us. "My brother is here, he'd got my ID, now let me through to see my mother before visiting hours are over!"

"Miss, I need you to calm down," she responds.

"No, I cannot calm down!"

"Hey, chill, chill," Tyler interferes. He lets go of my hand, pulling out his wallet to grab his sisters ID. I take the chance to get mine too, knowing I'll need it to get into the building.

"Here," Phoebe hands the woman her ID. "See?"

"Alright," she sighs. "You can go through, but tone down the attitude, okay?"

"Whatever," Pheobe rolls her eyes in annoyance.

"We'd like to join her," Tyler says. He shows the woman, and hands her mine, too. "She's not on the visitors list, but you're flexible on holidays, right?"