Sebastian Bear (complete)

FIFTEEN

FIFTEEN

Madeline was thirteen when she realized that her feelings for Nolan fell further into unrequited love territory than ordinary friendship. It was winter. A blanket of snow covered the neighborhood. The weather had proved severe enough to earn them a snow day. So Madeline dressed in a dozen or so layers of water-resistant clothing, a pair of slicker boots and trudged through the icy madness to meet her best friend at the halfway point between their two houses. That point happened to be a navy blue doghouse situated in the front yard of an apathetic elderly gentleman who could care less if a couple of school kids congregated on his property.

When she arrived at her waypoint, she was surprised to catch sight of a small gathering. Even from far away, Madeline could see Nolan was in the middle of a spiel. He was a natural story-teller, his eyes bright and shiny with excitement. She noted the way his hair curled around his beanie, the way his smile lit up his whole face. She'd noticed it a thousand times and it was always so perfectly explainable. He was her best friend after-all.

Madeline paused across the street, watching the small group laugh with him. One girl laughed particularly hard at her best friend's story, Miranda Laurant. Miranda was tall and thin and beautiful. She was even nice. Madeline froze as the perfect female leaned over and touched her best friend's arm affectionately. The jealousy hit hard, like a punch to the gut. She tried to shake off the feeling but it only intensified as she noticed the heated blush running over his cheeks. The realization was quick and to the point. He never ever looked at Madeline that way and he most likely never would.

That bothered her.

It bothered her because she was in love with someone she had no business being in love with.

"Who was that?" Madeline asked Nolan. The crowd was clearing, big plans were made to dig out some sort of fort for whatever reason.

"Miranda?" Nolan shrugged. He was fiddling with his gloves. "You know her. She's the new girl." Madeline did know who she was but it had made her feel better to pretend she didn't.

"Oh, yeah." Madeline feigned realization. "She likes you."

"You think?" Nolan looked hopeful. That hurt too.

"It looked like it. She was even touching your arm," she tried to tease. If he realized the strain behind her words he didn't mention it. He was too busy looking over at the new girl, a ghost of a smile playing at the corners of his mouth.

"That'd be cool," he mumbled more to himself than Madeline.

Madeline didn't respond. She couldn't think of anything to say. She couldn't handle anymore fake smiles or stressed frivolities.

Her snow day had been ruined.

There were plenty of occasions after that tormented day where her heart ached at the mere sight of Nolan. It had only gotten worse with age. She had lost count somewhere sophomore year after he had a short stint dating Rachel, an event that only lasted two months. It was at the end of the two months that they had shared that wine cooler kiss, the one that took so long to bury. He was sad, Madeline knew that looking back. He was sad and lonely and Madeline was there for him.

She had always been there for him.

Then there was Sebastian. He was the complete opposite of Nolan. He was enthusiastic and attentive and practically begged for her to notice him. She sometimes didn't know how to handle all the attention. It wasn't as if she were constantly chasing after Nolan but there were moments in which she looked at her best friend and wondered why he bothered calling at all. Toward the end, he was distant and distracted most of their time together.