i lied lol, heres the first chapter cause i couldn't wait until the end of the week
enjoy.
"Bella?" Cheryl waved her hand in front of my face, trying to get my attention.
I chuckled, closing my laptop and stretching my arms. I'd been working for quite a while, maybe a few hours at least, considering the sun was now completely down, my only source of light being the nightstand lamp.
"Sorry, I've just been studying like crazy. Finals are going to eat my ass if I don't study enough,"
"You need to take a break, though. Looking at a computer for hours on end isn't good for your health, do you wanna walk to the coffee house? It'll get you out of here for a bit."
"Sounds good, just let me throw some clothes on," I said, getting out of bed and walking to the dresser.
Once I changed we headed out of my door and into the humid, swampy air that is Berkeley California. One thing nobody told me before I moved here, was how dense the air was. It definitely took some getting used too, but even after a year and a half, I still wasn't completely accustomed to it.
I was taking a one and a half year program at Berkeley, majoring in historical education and getting a teaching degree. It had been a last minute change, but I was definitely glad that I did it. The people in my program were just amazing, and the thought of becoming a teacher warmed my heart. It was the beginning of January, meaning that finals were happening in less than two weeks, and in less than six months I'd be graduating university.
Life really did fly when I was taking care of myself.
It was odd though, it still felt like a piece of me was missing. I knew why, but I'd never admit it to myself or anyone else. I was making it on my own, and that was enough for me to not bring it up to anyone. Ever.
Call me crazy, but even after almost two years, I wasn't completely over him.
We only talked once, other than the time I answered the phone and didn't say a word, I just listened to him talk. I got very high one night and called him but it went to voicemail, so of course he tried multiple times to get a hold of me, whether it was calling my parents, Cheryl, and even Ashley. After a month or two the calls lessened, and finally stopped altogether. Fortunately, I might add. Him trying to contact me was not making it any easier for me trying to improve my mental stability.
"Maybe we should have like, post mated coffee instead." Sherly laughed, shivering from the cold air as we walked.
"You're such a baby, remind me how you grew up in New York?" I giggled.
She playfully rolled her eyes as we arrived at the small cafe.
Once inside we were greeted by the smell of coffee and pastries. 'It was a nice change from the fresh-paint smell that always seemed to linger in my dorm room, no matter how much febreeze I sprayed.
We ordered our drinks, then Cheryl excused herself to go to the bathroom, and I was left to wait for our order by myself.
I played with the hem on my jacket, humming a tune I leaned against the counter, looking around the room.
"I'm in my bed, and you're not here." A voice was heard singing over the speaker.
"And there's no one to blame but the drink in my wandering hands,"
No fucking way.
I widened my eyes at the all too familiar voice. I knew he released a new album next month, but I knew for a fact that I wasn't stable enough to listen to it.
My chest felt like it was constricting as the barista handed me our drinks. Without grabbing cozies for the cups I quickly made my way out of the cafe, my hand feeling like it was on fire but the pain that came with burning my hand felt better than the pain that was beginning to build within myself.
"Bella? What's wrong?" Cheryl came walking out of the cafe, looking worried.
I coughed, tears threatening to spill from my eyes. "His song was playing inside," My voice cracked.
"Oh Bella," She walked over to me, taking the cups out of my hand and setting them down on the table that was outside.
It was the first time in quite awhile that I heard anything regarding Harry. It brought up emotions and memories that I had been suppressing for quite some time.
I had diasbled my social media a few weeks ago. After the breakup people caught on that we weren't together, everyone assuming the worst happened. Their assumptions were that I cheated, or was using him for fame, no matter what they thought, I was in the wrong.
My point is, the only thing I knew was that he put out an album, and supposedly there were a few songs that were written about me. I didn't have the mental capacity to put myself through listening to it yet, and I wasn't sure if I'd ever be able too. What happened traumatized me, and I was most definitely not healed from it completely.
I wiped the tears falling from my eyes with the back of my sleeve jacket, before taking a few deep breaths.
"Let's head home, okay?"
I nodded and grabbed our drinks from the table, before we headed back to our dorms.
It was a good thing that for the next few weeks we didn't have any classes because of finals. I fell back into a depression, not eating nor sleeping. I would stay up for hours, watching the sun rise and fall. I didn't think that hearing his voice for the first time in a year would cause me so much pain, my heart ached constantly.
I completely blocked out the outside world, until I decided that I need more of a release.
With shaky hands I grabbed my phone from the nightstand, clicking a few buttons I pressed the phone to my ear.
"Michael, are you busy?"
