i've been unmotivated sorry for the long wait:(
A couple days after the predicament I found myself in with Harry, I felt more free than I ever had seen we broke up. Being with him during those few moments and leaving him made me feel like I was free from his grasp, I was beginning to feel like myself again.
Although, I'm not sure if that was because I let him go the moment I left his apartment, or because I had next to no time to think about it because I had too much homework to do. I wasn't complaining though, as long as he wasn't occupying all of my thoughts I was happy.
It was now Tuesday afternoon, and I was finishing up my last class of the day, anticipating for the time when it'd be over.
Cheryl and I were going to take a walk around tonight and get dinner. Needless to say I was excited. We hadn't talked much since the new semester started and I really missed her company, other than the few texts I'd gotten from her asking if I was okay and the day I dyed my hair, we hadn't been seeing much of each other.
As the professor finished up her lecture, I quickly gathered my things and headed out the door and towards my dorm. We were meeting in an hour and I wanted to catch up on a little bit of homework before we met up. Between my rendezvous this weekend and my lack of motivation, I quickly became a tad bit behind
It's okay though, because like I said I would pop a couple pills, then I'd be getting on with my life; exactly what I'm doing right now. I was moving on, I didn't see any issues with it.
Considering how I fell into a deep depression and turned to drugs to cope and fell into an even deeper hole, I wanted to be safe and considerate if I was doing drugs recreationally. I wouldn't allow myself to become the person I used to be.
There was no reason for it anyways. I wouldn't be seeing Harry again so it didn't matter.
I made my way to my dorm, opening the door and setting down my bag. Tying my hair up, I sat at my desk and opened up my laptop, answering a few emails from my professors and going over some of my notes while waiting for Cheryl to text me that she was here to pick me up.
Little did I know, I was waiting for a text that was never going to show up.
I had texted and called Cheryl multiple times within the past few hours, but got nothing in response. Needless to say I was getting worried, this wasn't like her.
Picking up my phone I dialed Cheryl's number for the last time, bringing my phone to my ear I listened intently to the dial tone, hoping to hear her pick up on the other end.
Before it got to voicemail the call was declined, and a text popped up on my screen.
'Hey, sorry! I had to stay in class late to finish an exam and just got out. Maybe tomorrow?'
I bit my lip and pushed my hair behind my ear before setting the phone down. I was honestly looking forward to tonight, so the fact that she wasn't able to follow through with our plans kind of hurt me.
I walked to my closet and reached to the top shelf, feeling around for a jar that held what would keep me calm and from crying since my plans were cancelled.
I grabbed one of the blunts and a jacket, throwing it over my shoulders and grabbing my phone I walked out of the dorms and off campus. Thankfully the walk was only ten minutes long; I didn't think that I'd be able to handle the many stares coming from other university students as I walked past them.
It was something that I'd gotten used too; the constant stares and whispers from my peers as if I had four heads and three sets of eyes. Assuming it was about my ex boyfriend I always tried to shrug it off. There was no need to dwell on it, this was my punishment for dating somebody that the whole world knew existed.
