Chapter 23 Part 1

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Danielle's POV

"I'm so bored" I mutter to myself while pacing the hardwood floor. "So bored! There's nothing to do"

A few days had passed since Smirrah had died and I'm both devastated at her pasing and happy. Devastated because despite the short time that I had her here we bonded something incredible. On the other hand I'm happy for her because her suffering is over, and she got to spend her last days doing everything that a dog could possibly want. I could feel it in the days prior to her death that she was content, that she was finally happy after all those long years of neglect and abuse.

I've been locked inside this damn mansion for the last week, no oppurtunity to go outside, left alone all day and with nothing to do. Absolutely nothing to do. The two of us hadn't done anything excited since we broke out of the asylum, and let me tell you I am restless. True I've never done anything more illegal other than the two murders, just my luck to get thrown in jail the first time I'm doing anything illegal, but I'm still feeling restless. He's awoken this thirst in me to do things I'm not allowed to, it's like a child that's never been allowed to have candy and then you give the child candy with the promise of more but all the child gets is that small piece of candy that just doesn't taste all that good.

Maybe I should do something myself, rob a small store? Or maybe shoplift some nice hoodies. I mean you have to start somewhere, am I right? I'm afraid, though, that nothing small will make me feel as alive as breaking out of a notoriously bad asylum for the criminally insane. Sure the sheer amount of emotions I felt when liberated could have been as overwhelming as they were because of all I went through there. Sure, I went through a lot of shit, I blocked some of it out and some I've forced into the darkest parts of my mind so far away that I will never think of it again. People tell me all the time that I haven't processed what happened to me in that place but what they don't realise is that that is my way of processing things. I do it while it's happening to me, I don't feel as affected by things as so many people seem to be. Some may call me lucky but I don't feel lucky. I know the only way that I'm not laying in my bed crying my goddamn eyes out because of the horrific treatment I was forced through there is because of my past. Because of the mentally scarring abuse that I was put through. Even after being set free from my abuser after 15 years, and then him being replaced by a new younger version of himself fo 2 more years, I know that nothing can make me break. At least nothing that those people can do, no, the only thing that can get to me now is the people I love. My mother betrayed me so I killed her boyfriend, talk about messed up. I have zero regrets.

I need to get out of this place, I need fresh air, I need to not be here. Should I just go on a quick walk? Surely he won't notice if I leave the house for a quick walk. Nah, let's do this, I tell myself.

I sigh and then open the big doors to the outside world. The first thing I notice when I pull them open is the blinding sunlight, I don't remember it being this bright, nor the sounds so loud nor the air so clear. I lift a hand to protect my eyes and I'm met with the familiar garden of the mansion, not that wellkept, we were supposed to be keeping low. Well, as low as one can be when living in a mansion.

The first steps are unsure, full of inner conflict, should I stay or should I go? Well, it looks like I'm going anyways, I won't be gone long. Only long enough for that walk I promised myself. I won't bring Misch with me, I don't know these streets and I won't put him in any unnecessary danger. There's no people walking by the entrance to the mansion, or the road outside of the heavy steel gates. I wonder where everyone is, maybe they've heard of our presence here and decided to avoid the street all together. Or maybe we're just that far away from the inner city that there's not many people living here, much less any law abiding ones.

"Looks like it's adventure time" I said and took the first step outside of the gates, butterflies swarming in my stomach and eyes casting weary looks in every direction.

AN: I'm back in business my lovely readers :) Make sure to leave a comment!

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