Second chances

Chapter 4

I ended up being saved from Mike showing me his room because Em had something to "talk" about with me.

I'm not sure if I should be happy or sad...

Mike has a really good body. His brown hair and green eyes aren't that bad too. Probably one of the reasons he gets with a lot of girls as Em told me. Sadly the game ended before someone of them was naked because some of the guys had to go to football practice. I only took out my shoes and socks at that time. Again my luck.

Em didn't had something we had to talk about as I thought but she helped me put my stuff in the closet. It was actually really funny and even though we are really unequal when it comes to our personalities.

It's now 6:57pm and I'm reading one of the books I took with me. It's a really good book. A love story which makes me feel really single but still a good book.

"Oh it's already really late. Let's go bookworm.", Em jumps up from the chair she was sitting on. Why can't she say what she means? I have no clue what she's talking about again.

"First only because you see someone reading you don't have to call them bookworm. I don't like that word. Second what the fuck are you talking about?", I give her an annoyed look which she answers with rolling her eyes.

"It's Dinner time.", she ignores what I said at first and walks to the door.

I sigh and lay back on my bed. "I'll see you later than. I'm not hungry."

She looks at me in disbelief. "When was the last time you eat? Must be in the morning gurl you have to be hungry. But even if not everybody has to come. They check if everyone is there. There's close to no way to get out of dinner and breakfast.", she rolls her eyes again.

Why should I have to sit there when I'm not even hungry. Why can't you let people chill in their rooms damn. Because I already see myself being dragged out of the room by security I get up and follow Em. I don't want to meet the security again today.

We're again taking the stairs. Have I mentioned than I'm unsportive and hate taking stairs? Yes? Well I had to mention it again. Why not taking the elevator? The dinner seems to be on the groundfloor probably im the same room as the breakfast. At least we're going downstairs.

We're some of the last students coming into the room. A lot of people are looking at me making me feel really uncomfortable. Either because I'm new and school actually started three weeks ago or because of the security thing. Maybe it's both.
Emilia grabs my hand and pulls me to a table I can see "the boys" at. I'm really grateful that they seem too take me into their friend group.

I sit down beside Mike after he "nicely " offered me to sit by him. I didn't miss the look he gave Gabriel after I sat down. Idiot.

In the back of the room students are lined up to get their food and Em walks there alone knowing I'm not hungry.

The boys are talking with each other already having their food. I don't know what to do so I just look at my hands which are laying in my lab. I pull my bracelets back to their place. It's something I always do when I'm bored.

"Aren't you hungry?", Mike asks me looking slightly confused.

"Yeah I'm not hungry..."

"Are you sure?", Justin now asks. Of course all of them are watching me now.

I only give them my nicest smile and nod hoping they will accept it. I didn't shutter did I? Why do you have to make people uncomfortable like that?! Justin narrows his eyes at me but doesn't ask further.

"You still have to see my room beautiful...", Mike tells me now grinning at me. "You're disgusting Mike!", Em who just came back tells him hitting his head letting him moan in pain.

"Thanks for that compliment it's actually one of my biggest talents.", he shoots back. Idiot.

I roll my eyes at their childish behavior and look around the room. The large room is full of students probably around 90. I see a lot of younger students only some seem to be in my grade.

"...Olivia?", I hear Mikes voice.

"What?", I didn't realize he was talking with me.
"I asked if you'll come with me to meet some of my other friends tomorrow evening. Just to chill a little bit..."

I don't want to be rude but I don't feel the need to meet more people. I just arrived today give me some rest damn.

"I don't thin-"

"She will come.", Em interrupts me. Is she serious right now. I'm really not in the mood but worse she said I will come not we both.

"Aren't you coming?", I ask instead of making clear I won't go.

"I'm meeting my girlfriend tomorrow night.", she winks at me.

"Wasn't there a thing with having to be in your room at 9pm?", I read the rules princi gave me. Just to know which rules I will break of course.

The table starts laughing at my comment even though I don't know what is so funny about it.
"You have to be in the house. You just can't be seen on the hallways. They check if your slepping in your room around 10:30pm. After that you just have to get out without being seen. They don't check the rooms at night.", Justin explains to me.

Logical but I don't know how we get out of here.
"We don't have to leave the building actually we will chill in my room.", Mike winks at me. "I can come to your room and show you the way.", he adds.

Despite the fact I never completely agreed I'm pretty curious how that shall work. So I don't say anything.
He's not the only idiot here.

"I'm also coming. So don't be afraid of Mike...", Marlon smiles at me.

"Sounds good..."

They keep on talking about stuff I don't really have anything to say to and only talk when someone asks me something.

The dinner seems to take forever until the house manager I never thought a job like that existed allows us to go to our rooms. I've never been faster in my life. I wish the boys  a good night and tell Em I will see her later.

While walking to the elevator I try to ignore the looks I get from a lot of the people. I have only been here for a half day and everyone seems to know about my little argument with the Principal.

In our room I take out my note book and start writing. Since I'm little I write down my feelings. Two years ago I found out that you feel much better if you burn your negative feelings. That's why I write them down now.

I want to leave.
The people aren't bad at least Emilia and the boys. My room isn't bad too. Even though we don't have privat bathrooms..
But I feel trapped.

Normally I would disappear for some days if I wasn't feeling good. Take a break. But I know there is no way to get out. I won't be able to be alone a lot. I don't feel like I have even a little bit of privacy.
I try to write fast not wanting Em to come in seeing me cry like the idiot I am.

I open the window of the room and take out my lighter. Without hesitating I take the paper I ripped out of my note book and let it burn.

My tears have stopped and I watch the leftovers of the paper fly out of the window looking like little fireflies.

Author's note:
It's a short chapter I know but the next will be longer.❤️