During break ups, one person tends to get the shorter stick. Eddy Chen sympathizes and recognizes that Brett Yang did get the bad side. Eddy got the good side but that doesn't mean that the guilt didn't hit him hard.
warnings: expletives, angst
Third Person POV
Sometimes, either intuitively or observantly, you will know that a relationship is about to end. It's not about how much you don't love them anymore or how bad they've treated you. It's the matter of knowing, especially for both the people involved, that they really can't be together anymore.
A lot of people break up even if they're still in love with each other. They love each other, but love doesn't always suffice or automatically save a relationship. You will know when something is not for you anymore. That's how Brett Yang and Eddy Chen broke up. It's just accidental that Eddy got the good side of things.
I got the good side of things
Left you with both of the rings
It was obvious that Brett was ready to propose to Eddy. He knows that Eddy is the someone that he could see himself marrying and growing old with. So, on their eighth anniversary, Brett went down on one knee. Eddy was crying, only because they both had complete opposite things on their minds.
"Brett, I appreciate everything that you've done for me the past year but I really can't accept your proposal. I'm terribly sorry. Please forgive me." Eddy said, helping Brett stand up.
"I... I really don't know what to say to that..." Brett looked down on the ground, avoiding the eyes of the younger. "If you're going to say what I think you're going to say, please just be honest now. I don't think I can handle it if you tell me tomorrow or any other day." Brett added, tears already escaped his eyes but he isn't sobbing.
"Brett, I love you, I really do but I'm not in love with you anymore. I did my best, I swear, I just knew that your love isn't for me anymore. I was going to break it to you tonight, but you proposed first. I'm sorry, Brett. I really am." Eddy said, tears also streaming down his face.
Nothing was said for a few moments. Brett couldn't do anything but stand still and thought of where he went wrong. Eddy hugged Brett from behind, tears still continuing to flow. Brett could only hold Eddy's arms. When the silence was broken, it was Brett who spoke up.
"Just make sure it really can't be us anymore, okay?" Brett said, tears stopped flowing down his face.
Eddy Chen was sobbing, but he sobbed at that sentence. He held onto Brett tightly and whispered his apologies, his guilt, the love that he has left for Brett and most of all, his wishes for Brett to be happy even without him.
My fingers danced and swayed in the breeze
The change of wind took you down to your knees
Eddy was sad about it at first, he really didn't want to let Brett go but he knew he had to. He was sad about it, I mean, he did love the man for so long. He felt guilty but it had to be done before they were both miserable in the relationship. He decided to not feel too guilty and build himself back up.
Brett on the other hand, he was miserable. He didn't want to dwell on it for too long but everything keeps on reminding him of Eddy. He's well aware that it isn't his fault but he always thought of the things he could've done better. He felt as though he can't continue until he brought himself back up. He will, just not now.
I got the good side of you
Left it out into the blue
The people sang to the beat of your heart
They danced to it falling apart.
Brett will always be Eddy's muse when it comes to violin playing. It didn't matter whether he was dating someone else, Brett is always the inspiration of his playing. Brett had always made him feel like human when he feels detached to the world. Brett made him feel a lot.
Those feelings, both good and bad, are the reasons why he played so good. That's why he's good at making the violin sing as if it was in love or in pain. He always had a soft spot just for Brett that no one could fill.
When he sees people enjoy his music, he's reminded of how he fell in love with Brett. Also, how the music is about Brett's heart was breaking. Eddy had never felt so much towards a person besides Brett. Brett had always been special for him.
But I sympathize,
And I recognize,
And baby I apologize,
That I got the good side,
The good side of things.
It is obvious that Eddy had gone back up better and easier than Brett did. Eddy knows that he got broken and beat up. He is sorry, he really is. Brett knows this too. Eddy got the good side, but Brett will be fine. He will be alright, he just needs time to heal.
I got the good side of life
Traveled the universe twice
So many thoughts, I wanted to share
But I didn't call 'cause it wouldn't be fair.
During Eddy's tour as a soloist, he had traveled the world again. Just like how he and Brett did before. When he revisited a few places, he can't help but remember how their late dinners became night outs. He really wanted to call Brett but he didn't. It's not fair for the older man, especially how he's trying to get back up.
I got the good side of new
Found arms to fall right into
I know how it looked, it wasn't the plan
And I hope that someday you'll understand
During the tour, Eddy did find someone new. Brett was halfway through building his life back up. He was lucky enough to fall in love with an amazing woman. Her name was Toni and she was everything that Eddy could ask for.
He knew that it looked terrible, especially how he just got out of an eight year relationship. He knows Brett will understand, though. Maybe it's too forward now, but he will understand. He knows.
I'm sure we'll meet in the spring
And catch up on everything
I'll say I'm proud of all that you've done
You taught me the ropes, and you taught me to love
They did meet up, a year after their break up. Brett was at a better place, he was a soloist too. Eddy was so proud of him because he got back up and was happy again. They just talked and talked, no hard or awkward feelings. They're back as best friends, like they were before.
Eddy was vocal about how proud he is that Brett had his dreams come true. He couldn't be happier for the older man. They just talked and caught up on everything that the other had missed. Of course, Brett was proud of Eddy, too.
It goes without saying that Brett taught Eddy how to love and Eddy had taught Brett how to love again.
a/n
The italicized are lyrics to Troye Sivan's The Good Side
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