⚠️WARNING⚠️: This story was written and published before the first season was fully released! Details and revelations after the pilot episode were not known and this book is based on information known prior to the announcement of S1.
~~~
Being a fal...
After a failed chase which ended up with you tumbling into a dumpster outside the porn studio you realised you couldn't catch the two goat demons.
"Damn. Stupid. Mother. F-" suddenly a giant rat scampered out the pile of trash from next to you. Leaping into the air you cling onto a crooked fire escape. "Rats... rats... damn rats..." you mumbled incoherently to yourself.
Now on the main road you walk past people high, drunk, and asleep. Trying to get rid of a stain in your shirt you ignore the mix of cat calls and insults.
"Come here, baby girl!"
"Stinky slut,"
"Give me some sugar, babe~"
"Ugly ass demon,"
"$5 if you suck my dick, sexy,"
Getting sick and tired of the mixed comments, that weren't flattering at all, you summoned lightning and smite them all to burnt bits. Thank father you still had that power! Suddenly a white limo pulled up beside you.
"Sister, dearest," Lucifer gets out the vehicle.
"Suck my dick, Lucifer," you growled.
"Feeling a little spicy with those insults today aren't we?" You both walk side by side as denizens coward at the sight of your brother. "How have you been? Had a shower recently?"
"Why you little-!" You clench your fists in front of his face before deciding against retaliating. "What do you want? Have you not ruined my life enough?"
"Ruined? I'm offended! What have I done to upset you?" He pushes you both together but regrets it when he smells the decade old cheese you fell into.
"I'm not even going to bother explaining because saying what you haven't done is a shorter list,"
"Why won't you just change your clothing? It's getting disgusting," he clasps a hand over his mouth to prevent taking in the scent considering his lack of a nose... wait- how does he smell?! Nevermind that...
"Well I realised if I keep myself smelling rancid it will rid of you faster!" Your sickeningly sweet voice makes Lucifer chuckle and ruffle your hair.
"Nonsense! But let's gossip a little! Maybe about your petty love life?~" quickening your pace you see the hotel come into view.
"Leave me alone, Luci!" As you sprint away he seemed to do the same and was gaining on you fast.
"Come on, Y/n! Talk to your big brother about your dating life! When was the last time you slept with a man?! Or woman?! I don't judge!" Opening the hotel door you do your best to close it in time only for Lucifer to tackle you to the ground.
"Lucifer!" You whine.
"You can't escape me!" He cackles. "Still not over him?"
"Dad? Aunty?"
"Not now, Charlotte!" Lucifer sings as he pins you down. "You understand as your big brother I must know about your sexual encounters?" Holding back a gag eventually everyone entered the lobby to see you brawling with your brother.
"You need no such details!"
"You weren't against it when talking about-" your eyes glowed f/c, a flash of light sending Lucifer back. "Damn woman," he groans.
"Well deserved!" You grab his hat and place it on. "And for annoying me to no end I will be telling Lilith,"
"Don't you dare!"
"If I had access to heaven I'd get father to scold you too but your wife will suffice," you grumble and let the snake crawl to your wrist and wrap around your arm.
"If you had access to heaven you'd call someone else~" you send the snake to attack your brother who falls back, the snake now curled on his face. Taking out your hellphone you fix the hat and dial your sister in law.
"Hey, Lilith, your husband is being annoying again,"
"Y/n, No!" You continue despite his protest and threats.
"No accordion for a month? No... two? That seems fit,"
"Not the accordion!" His shrill voice makes Lilith chuckle through the phone. "Have mercy!" He collapses at your feet causing Charlie to hide her face in embarrassment. "I'll do anything!"
"Give us tickets to the Aquarium tomorrow and we forget this ever happened," he nods and hands over a envelope of tickets he conjured up. "Pleasure doing business with you, brother,"
"Anything for the accordion," he mumbles in sorrow. You click your fingers and he was transported out Hotel and back into the waiting limo.
"Please never embarrass me like that," Charlie sighs.
"No promises, my little sunshine," you pat her head and walk off with Lucifers hat still on.
"What about his hat??" Vaggie calls after you.
"It's turning pink!" You salute and disappear behind the elevator doors.
~~~
At least today you had something to do; you were all going to the aquarium. You opted to wear a f/c top which wrapped around your neck and some ripped jeans, of course paired with your favourite shoes.
Lucifer had sent the limo to pick you all up and drop you off at Hells largest aquarium. He also decided to send money for food and gifts when Lilith told him he was in the wrong for pestering you.
"All ready?" You place the tickets and money in your purse.
"Hell yeah! Let's go!" Angel hollered, fat nuggets strapped in a stroller squealed as well.
~~~
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
