𝚂𝚞𝚗𝚁𝚊𝚢 ~ 𝚂𝚙𝚎𝚗𝚌𝚎𝚛 𝚁𝚎𝚒𝚍

Ｃｈａｐｔｅｒ - ｅｌｅｖｅｎ

Bottled Up Feelings

The drive back to the BAU was an unpleasant one. There was so much awkward silence throughout the drive. Spencer doesn't like driving so I was the one who drove us back to the BAU.

"You two coming back from a date?" Morgan teased as the elevator doors to the 6th floor opened.

I gave morgan a deadly look to which he responded by putting his hands up and saying he was just kidding. I walked past him and went straight to my desk to put my things down.

"What's up with her?" I heard Morgan ask once they thought I was out of hearing range.

"I don't know," Spencer answered.

"man, I do not understand women." Morgan laughed.

"No, you really don't," I said and it caused both of them to go silent. I chuckled to myself as I walked into the conference room.

During the briefing, I mentally scoffed at hotch for not calling me or spencer literally a minute earlier. A minute earlier and I didn't have to tell him that I had feelings for him or hear that he had feelings for me. 

A minute earlier and I wouldn't be thinking 'what if I was brave enough to tell him how I felt'. 

A minute earlier and I wouldn't be wondering if what we would've been, friends or more? Would we have been in a relationship? Would we have still be in a relationship now if I told him how I felt all those months ago?

"Elora," I heard someone call, pulling me out of my thoughts. I looked up and saw that it was just me and Penelope in the room. "You okay honey?"

"Yeah," I sighed.

"You can tell me, I'm your best friend remember?" she said taking a seat next to me.

"I know Pen, but I know you. If I tell you, it'll end up with you meddling into people's lives, not only mine."

"Fair enough," she said standing up. "Ready to go?"

I got up and collected my case file. "Yep."

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When we got on the jet I went straight for the back seat. After re-reading the case file, since I had missed the whole briefing, I pulled out my book and pretended like I was reading. While I was actually getting sucked into my thoughts of 'what if's' again.

"Hey," Emily said sitting across from me. "You okay? I noticed during the briefing you weren't fully there."

"Yeah, thanks Em, I'm just not feeling...well."

"Do you feel sick? Are you alright?"

"Physically? Yeah. metally? Maybe. Emotional? I don't think so." I said.

"Wanna talk about it."

"I don't really know... something just opened feelings that I've kept bottled up my own reasons, and I just keep thinking what if I never pushed away my feelings, how different things could have been."

"Mmm, boy troubles?"

"Damn, you profilers," I said and it caused us to laugh.

"You know you're a profiler too, right?" Emily asked once we've settled.

"Yeah, whatever. And yeah, I guess you can say 'boy troubles'."

"Well, all I'm going to say is, there might be a reason why your feelings are coming back. And you won't know if it'll be worth it if you don't go after it, or him."

I nodded and she got up.

"Oh and one more thing, make sure he's worth it, cause your one of a kind."

"Thanks, Emily."

She gave me a reassuring simile and left me to think about what she said.

Is he worth it?"