𝚂𝚞𝚗𝚁𝚊𝚢 ~ 𝚂𝚙𝚎𝚗𝚌𝚎𝚛 𝚁𝚎𝚒𝚍

Ｃｈａｐｔｅｒ - ｆｏｕｒｔｅｅｎ

Back into Reality

A week of relaxing in my hometown with my family, and running away from my stressful life, is what I needed. At least that's what I'd like to think. 

I called hotch and told him I'm planning on coming back today and not so surprisingly he told me they were finishing up a case in Ohio and said that I don't have to come in till tomorrow. 

Even though I had an extra day off I decided to head to Quntiqo anyway and see f I could pick up some work. And I also wanted to see Penelope.

"Got room in here for one more ?" I asked when I entered Penelope's office.

"Elora! " Penelope squealed jumping on her chair and running over to me. "How was your trip? "

"It was good, I really needed it. "I said when we pulled away from the hug.

"What made you need to get away?" Penelope asked as she led me to the chairs we always sit in.

"You know this job can get to you sometimes... and other things. "

"Yeah, I totally get it."

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We caught up. It feels like I haven't talked to Pen in forever. Between paperwork, I do sneak into her office and hang for a little but I would have to get back, and now I'm happy to just sit here with my best friend and talk. At least I still have one of my best friends. 

I'm not sure what things are going to be like for my friendship with Spencer. I know I screwed up, but the thing is I am broken. I'm pretty good at hiding it in front of people, but when I get home I fully break down. 

 I get bad anxiety and panic attacks. Whenever I feel like I'm going to have an attack while we work on cases I excuse myself and get situated before returning. It's always been a problem, even when I was working as a coder. But with the stress of this job, it's only gotten worse. 

Nobody knows about it, not even Penelope. I don't want anyone to know about it, I guess that's why I didn't say anything to Spencer. I do like him a lot but he'd eventually figure out the truth and I don't want anyone to know, not yet anyway. I don't want anyone to look at me with pity, especially not my team.

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Penelope heard a text message come in and she picked up her phone.

"Ooh, the teams back," she said standing.

"Teams back today?" I asked feeling the anxiety build up.

Okay Elora, not now, deep breaths.

"Yep, finished up the case this morning. Come on let's meet them in the bullpen. I bet they're going to be excited you back, especially Spencer. Ever since you left he seemed kinda... well depressed, a little"

Damn I broke Spencer

That thought just made my Anxiety grow more.

"Um, okay Pen. you go ahead, I'll be there in a minute."

She nodded and skipped out of her office. Once she left my breathing got heavier and heavier. It got to the point where I felt lightheaded. My hands were shaking and my body was trembling.

Deep breaths, Elora!

I couldn't, it's like I wasn't able to suck in air. I slid down the wall and sat on the floor, trying to breathe.

"Elora?" I heard a faint voice ask, but I didn't even notice it, I was focused on trying not to pass out.

"Elor- oh my goodness!" 

a second later someone was crouching down next to me. I couldn't see who it was. All I saw were black and white converse, but I know who it was. Spencer. 

Knowing the one person I didn't want to see me like this is here in the room in the middle of one of my worst Anxiety attacks, only made it worse.

"Breath, Elora." this time I heard what he said more clearer. I don't know why hearing him say it, made my breathing start to slow.

After my breathing went at a normal pace, I looked up to spencer. I definitely gave him a scare.

"Spencer, im-"

"It's okay," he said, sitting down on the floor next to me. We sat there for a few minutes, in silence, but this silence was the non-deadly kind.

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A few more minutes later Penelope barged in.

"What happened? Are you okay? We were waiting for you guys."

"Yeah Pen, we're alright," I said getting up from my seat on the floor. She gave me a bewildered look as we walked out, Spencer behind us.

"Long story, I'll explain later." Lie.

We approached the double glass doors and walked into the bullpen. We walked over to the team.

"There she is!" Rossi exclaimed as we approached the group.

"Here I am," I said and hugged everyone.

"So how were your days off?" Emily asked, curiosity coating her voice.

"Great, they were much needed."

"I thought I said you didn't have to come in till tomorrow," Hotch said, barely looking up from his phone.

"I know but I couldn't stay away," everyone chuckled at my remark. Some know how true it was, especially Hotch.

"Well now that you're here, we could use you," Hotch said. I nodded, maybe a little too excited. Honestly, I am glad to be back at work. He returned the nod and walked into his office.

"So, what did you do on your days off?" JJ said, redirecting the conversation back to my sudden disappearance.

"I visited my family in England."

"You kind of just up and left," Derek commented.

"Yeah it was a last-minute trip, kinda needed a getaway I guess."

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We stayed conversating for a little bit, but eventually, we had to get to work. Hotch put some paperwork for me to do on my desk and I happily sat down. I guess you could say I'm a workaholic, even before I became an FBI profiler.

I started my paperwork, I didn't have as much to do as everyone else since I wasn't on the case with them. I was one of the first done with my work and I dropped it off at Hotch before returning to Penelope's lair.