Save Me

EIGHTYFOUR

After our fun, fulfilling morning, we took a shower together, groping each other some more. We sat and ate breakfast that Rhydian insisted on cooking, a full English breakfast. It was definitely welcomed, I was starving. Rhydian has popped back to the packhouse to get a change of clothes so we can get a start on this bedroom for Cory.

I'm in the living room waiting for him to come back with my phone in my hand, staring at the pack hospital number. I want to make an appointment to find out if I can have pups but I'm nervous. I don't want to be told the reason Rhydian won't have an heir is because of me.

I sighed and pressed call on the number. I held my breath waiting for someone to pick it up on the other end. "Hello, Nurse Thorne speaking." Aunt Georgie greeted. I cursed silently that it had to be her that answered. "Hey, Aunt Georgie." I greeted. There was a quick pause on the other end before she finally responded. "Oh, Amaris! How are you? Is everything ok?" I could practically see her furrowing her brows. "Yeah, I'm just wondering if Doctor Reeves is in yet?" I answered. "Yeah, would you like me to put you through?" She asked. I took a deep breath, "Please." I replied. "Ok, putting you through now sweetheart. Speak soon." She remarked. I went to reply when I was hit with the annoying hold tune. I groaned and held the phone away from my ear.

"This is Doctor Reeves." He said, sounding every bit professional. "Hi, it's Amaris." I greeted. "Ah, young Alp-Amaris," He corrected himself and I bit back a laugh. "What can I do for you?" He asked. "Well, I was hoping if you could fit me in for an appointment?" I asked awkwardly. "Is there something wrong?" He quizzed. "Not exactly. Um, I don't really wanna speak about it over the phone but it's about pups." I replied, I sounded so nervous. "Ok, I understand. I'm free in one hour if that's any good?" He answered. I took a deep breath and let out a shaky breath. "Yes, I'll be there," I whispered. "I'll see you then. Oh and Amaris, bring Alpha Rhydian with you." He ordered. I hummed in response and hung up the phone.

I slouched back on the sofa and closed my eyes. The front door open and closed, Rhydian came sauntering into the living room. "What's wrong?" He asked worriedly, rushing over to me. "Nothing." I shrugged, "I have an appointment in an hour with Doctor Reeves." I explained. He nodded in understanding and sat back on the sofa, bringing me into his chest. "Will you come?" I asked, inhaling his scent. "I was anyway." He chuckled as he leaned forward, planting a small kiss into my hair.

I sighed and closed my eyes. "What if I can't have pups?" I whimpered. He sat up and made me look at him, "If you can't, it doesn't change anything... I love you and we'll be fine. But think positive baby, you don't know what's going to happen." He breathed. I sighed and nodded my head, "I know, I'll worry when I need to." I mentioned. "You don't need to worry." He added. "How about we look at furniture for Cory's room to pass time?" He offered, reaching down and showing me a laptop. I nodded and smiled as he set up the laptop on his knee.

After we picked pretty much all the furniture Cory will need and things he probably won't, it was time to head to the pack hospital. We walked hand in hand there, waving and saying morning to a few pack members we passed. Everyone had bright smiles and a few gave suggestive glances our way. We really need to announce it properly to the pack.

We arrived at the hospital and I took a deep breath before we entered. "Remember what I said, nothing changes." He squeezed my hand as we stepped into the hospital. Georgie gave me a quizzical look as she saw me pass but I just smiled and brushed it off. We arrived at Doctor Reeves' office as he opened the door.

"Right on time." He smiled, "Come on in." He held his hand out while he stood by his door. "Ok, so from what I gathered on the phone... You want to know if you can have pups?" He asked as he sat behind his desk. I nodded and bit my lip. Rhydian placed his hand on my leg and squeezed.

"I've looked back over your medical reports from back then and I'm afraid it's not good news." He said sadly. "Your womb and cervix had irreversible damage. A fetus pup would not be able to take hold in your womb, you would miscarry. I'm so sorry, I know it's not the news you were hoping for. We can do another exam on you and see if anything has changed but in my medical opinion I don't think it will have." He explained sadly.

I can't have a pup of my own. Rhydian will never be a father... It felt as though my whole world came crashing down, the weight on my chest was making it hard to breathe. My eyes were burning from the tears that were pooling in my eyes. I'm never going to experience the one thing most she-wolves do, I'm never going to experience that kind of unconditional love that your pups give you.

"Baby, stay with me. Don't lose control." Rhydian was in front of me with his hands on my face. "I'm so so sorry." I choked as I broke down. "I'll give you two some time." Doctor Reeves left the room. "Amaris, breathe. Control her, force her back." He ordered. I could feel my control slipping, I wanted it too. I didn't want to feel anything. "Baby, I need you. Don't give up, fight her. Fight for me." He whispered.

I gasped and forced as much air as I could into my lungs. I closed my eyes and forced my wolf back as much as I could until I could feel Aurora, then I knew the Dark Wolf was safely tucked away. Aurora was whining, curled up. I could see her clear as day in my mind.

'We'll get through this.' Aurora whimpered.

"That's it, Red. Come back to me." Rhydian breathed. I lunged at him, knocking us both onto the floor. He sat back and held me in his lap as I sobbed until there were no tears left.