Behind Your Walls

35 | home alone

There is a thick tension in the air. It engulfs both of us, making it almost impossible to speak.

"I don't understand," Carter says, looking baffled.

I keep my mouth shut, the inclination to continue this argument and make him understand disappearing from my heart. I swallow a gulp and look at the floor where my backpack is lying open beside the bed with clothes and stuff spread out on the floor. I walk over to it and sit on my knees, picking up my scattered things and starting to put them back in the backpack.

"Am, we can talk about this."

Footsteps stop close to me and Carter crouches down. I pick up my red scarf which I wore on our date and am about to put it in when he stops me by holding my wrist. I don't look at him, liking the silence between us better.

"Am...talk to me," he pleads, squeezing my wrist. I bring my other hand up and gently make him let go of my wrist. "Please..."

I put the scarf in and reach over for my school bag. I take out my books and put them in the backpack before folding my school bag to place it inside too.

"You can't go," he says and this time I do look at him.

"Why?" I ask, my eyes blurry with tears.

He is looking at my backpack with his eyes narrowed down. When I zip it and pull it by the strap to pick it up, he grabs my hand again and pulls me. I lose my balance, falling on his lap and he holds me by my waist.

"Carter, let me go!" I shout, trying to pry his hands off my waist.

I feel my T-shirt seeping with something wet and look down to find the blood from his injured hand staining it.

"No," he growls and I feel his lips on my neck. They are warm and seductive, his way of convincing me to listen to him. "You can't go."

I dig my nails into his uninjured hand but he doesn't leave me.

"I hate you!" I scream, kicking my legs on the floor aimlessly as I wriggle in his hold.

"Am, we can talk about this."

His hold on me tightens and in a second, I find myself being turned around in such a way that I am straddling him.

"Carter, you're drunk!" I shove at his shoulders.

He grips my hips, holding me to him and marking my clothes with his blood even more.

"And you're not in your senses!" he yells, moving one of his hands to my neck and forcing me to look at him.

The redness in his eyes is still there and he looks wilder than he ever has.

"Let me go or I'll hurt you," I warn him as I clutch his jacket in my fists, getting my teeth.

"You can't leave me like this!" I gasp when I find tears falling from his eyes. He brushes the tip of his nose against mine as he closes his eyes. "I need you. You're my balance. I'll never ask you to leave, Am."

"You don't need me," I say as a whimper escapes me.

"I do," he whispers, brushing his lips against mine. "You're my medicine. You're all I need."

"I'm not your cure, Carter." I push him, with enough force to make him let go of me so that he can prevent himself from falling. I drag myself away from him and stand up, picking up my backpack with me and getting my phone from the bed. "I'm not the good to your bad. I'm not responsible for you."

He stands up too and is about to grab me again when a knock at the door stops him.

"Carter, Amaya! What's happening inside?" Melody shouts as she keeps knocking at the door violently.