Behind Your Walls

37 | at the door

Not one, not two. My heart does a thousand somersaults when I see him sitting on my porch. He is wearing a black hoodie paired with blue jeans and is looking as handsome as he always does. One of his hands, the one he shattered the window with, is now bandaged. His eyes are on his phone, typing fast.

My hands tremble as I enter the gate and the sound of metal dragging against the ground makes him look up from his phone. Those green eyes, the ones I am weak for look broken when they meet mine.

"Amaya!" Carter calls my name, putting his phone back in his pocket as he stands up, and my stomach flutters with the never-dying butterflies

I cross my arms over my chest as I walk toward him, feigning an annoyance that is one hundred percent fake. I am not annoyed that he is here. I am worried.

"How did you know where I live?" I ask in a monotonous tone while taking out my key from my bag and unlocking the door.

"I went to visit your Mom."

I turn around, startled by that information. "You went to visit my Mom? Why?"

"To say thanks," he says, taking a step closer to me so that I am wedged between the door and his body. "She told me where you live."

Mom, why did you do it?

I swallow a gulp, wishing that Carter didn't tell Mom that I was back home. I turn to push the door open and bend low to cross the tape to enter the house. Before Carter can follow me, I grip the door to shut it back but he stops me with a hand in between.

"Amaya, just listen to me."

He pushes the door but I push back. There is no way I am letting him enter my house. He needs to leave. He is ruining everything by being here.

"Carter, please go..." I request. "I don't want to talk to you."

"No!" he says, using the force of his bandaged hand too as he overpowers me and pushes the door open.

I let go reluctantly, not wanting any of us to hurt ourselves. He bends down and has to crawl under the tape to get in. I let him, dropping my bag on the floor and watching quietly as he enters and shuts the door.

"What are you doing here, Am?" he asks, moving towards me with long steps.

"This is my Mom's house. This is where I belong," I say and he stops in front of me.

We are so close that I can smell his cologne and it is driving me insane. I try to maintain a straight face but it gets difficult when he grabs me by my arms and pulls me close.

"This isn't safe, Am. That man is still out there," he begins. "Come back to my place. Don't put yourself in danger because of some stupid fight...please."

I put my hands on his chest and gently push him away. He drops his hands and stands there, looking at me expectantly.

"It's none of your concern, Carter," I say, sounding casual. "Get out of here. I don't even want to see your face."

I feel the moisture in the corners of my eyes and have to take a deep breath to not let them escape. My words taste like venom to my ears. What must they be doing to him?

"Why are you doing this, Am?" he questions, his voice low and broken. "You're throwing us away because I got drunk and didn't pick up your calls?"

"That's not it, Carter!" I almost yell, running my fingers through my hair. "You know why us is never going to work. You're too reckless for me. I can't have you put my future at risk along with your—"

"You told me you love me!" he shouts, cutting me off.

"I lied!" I shout back. "I never loved you. It was just my little girl crush that I mistook for love. I never loved you."