➪𝕀𝕟𝕗𝕚𝕟𝕚𝕥𝕪 𝕒𝕟𝕕 𝕓𝕒𝕔𝕜

29|🛹✨

Yes I'm saying sorry again i needed some time to myself again- I'm exhausted
I'm in the mood to write a somewhat angsty chapter but it all ends happily I promise <3

TW‼️ mentioning of self harm scars
-

Reki woke up earlier than he thought he would. He was sore and still pretty exhausted from the day before so he wanted to sleep in. No matter how hard he tried he couldn't fall back to sleep.

Langa was curled up against his back, his arm lazily hanging over his hip. Reki looked over his shoulder at the sleeping blue haired boy and a small smile formed. He was so pretty.

It took him forever to make up his mind but he decided he was going to take a shower to clear his mind. He slowly made his way out of Langas grasp and grabbed some clothing and a towel from his bag. Kaoru must've dropped off some more towels once they headed to bed.

No matter what he did he couldn't help but have a nagging feeling in the back of his head that he wasn't good enough. He dropped his head to stare at the tile floor as the warm water rushed down his back. His hair stuck to the sides of his neck and cheeks.

Randomly, Reki would get in a mood like this. He hated it and tried swallowing it down but it only came back up worse.

"Aughh" he groaned, grasping the sides of his head and covering his ears. He leaned his head back slightly, letting the water start to wash down his face.

The water hitting his head and the covering of his ears made it sound like it was storming. A raging storm. It was calming at first but soon got overwhelmingly loud.

"Why can't I just stop thinking.." the red head sighed a little and shut his eyes. He was fine, he was going to be okay.

When he shut his eyes he started to feel a little dizzy and unbalanced. But it was comfortable.

Reki started to wash himself off, the smell of salt water still hung on him. He had sunburned shoulders, which sucked. Not only because it hurt but now his freckles would be even more noticeable.

He looked down at his arms as he leaned up against the cold wall behind him. Some remained scars that were barely noticeable went straight down his wrist. Short, horizontal wounds.

Reki was proud of himself for going almost a full year without harming himself. He still looked back on the times where he did and they were all painful.

Not only the cuts but the warm bath water that would sting once he submerged his wrist into it to wash the remaining rivers of the red substance off.

He ran his fingers across them, clearing his mind for a few seconds. For some reason, looking at them made him feel better. He's doing way better off than he was. Of course he still had thoughts in the back of his mind every time he would look at a razor or sharp object but he never acted upon it.

Reki shut the water off and dried himself before throwing on some clothes and blow drying his hair.

"Mm, Reki?"

A sleepy Langa knocked on the bathroom door. He must've been too loud with the hair dryer.

"Yeah?"

Reki turned the hair dryer off, opening the door to find his boyfriend rubbing his eye and running his fingers through his messy thin hair. It was a cute sight.

"Good morning, Baby." A drowsy smile made its way onto his face as he wrapped his arms around the red head and gave him a few kisses. "I love you, do you need any help?"

Reki's heart melted. Langa was being so adorable. He really didn't deserve him. And just like that his thoughts came crumbling back in.

"No, it's okay Snow." He returned a small kiss. "I love you too though."

"Do you?" Langa played with Reki's damp hair. "Dooo you love me?" He teased.

"Of course! Why wouldn't I?"

"Mm, dunno. You're cute though."

"You're embarrassing-"

They sat holding each other for a few seconds, enjoying the comfortable silence. That was until Reki started to sniffle and bury his face into Langas chest, clutching the boy's shirt.

"Reki?!" Langa panicked for a second. Was he crying? Is he upset? What is he upset about?

"Hey, hey, why are you crying?" He calmed himself, bringing his voice to a small whisper. "Reki, hey...it's okay" he embraced him tightly, letting his lover let it out. It's best to let it go then to hold it in.

"I...I don't know.." he mumbled slightly, moving his head back and wiping a few tears. "Even after last night.." he sniffled again. "I've had this overwhelming looming feeling over my shoulders that I'm not good enough and I don't deserve you or the others."

Langa softened his worried stare, cupping the red heads cheeks and wiping some tears away with his thumb. "I know...I know it's hard to not think about those types of things..but I'm here to comfort you, okay? You can always talk to me about it or if you need space to think about it on your own time you can always let me know." He smiled and placed his forehead against Reki's. "I love you so much, more than words can express. I want you to be happy more than anything. If there's anything you need you promise you'll tell me?"

Reki took a second, hiccuping and sniffling again. He tried taking a few deep breathes before saying something but it didn't help much. "O..okay I promise." He nodded and leaned into one of Langas hands.

"Do you want to go get breakfast? Or we can stay here for a little bit."

"Breakfast!" Reki wiped some tears off of his chin and wrapped his arms around his boyfriends neck. Hopefully his insecurities and thoughts would subdue for now.

-

Okay so that chapter sucked <3

Anyways I decided to write a little angst bc I've recently been getting over some hard things and I kinda wanted to add my own experiences but in Rekis perspective. (If that makes sense-)

Ah I hope you enjoyed this crappy chapter I'll probably rewrite this one as well- later though I'm tired LDKDMD

Kisses 😽💕