SPENCER REID IMAGINES

i think im still in love with him

TYPE: angst/fluff
WORD COUNT: 1.1K

It's been ten weeks since Spencer and I have broke up. Ten weeks, every day I regret telling him what I told him. He doesn't talk to me unless it's about work. He blocked me. Every time I try to talk to him at work about it he walks away. I've shown up at his house but he locks me out. The feeling hurts so bad.

I know I said some horrible things to him but I didn't mean any of them. I love him so much. He's the love of my life, i'm sure of it. I just wish he would hear me out. I was overwhelmed.

Basically what happened was that we got into an argument. He said I was flirting with Morgan. Which I was not, we were talking and that's it. He yelled at me for not being loyal. Even though all we did was talk. That's it. I called him childish. Which ticked him off. I understand why, Spencer and I are ten years apart. He's 25 and i'm 35. Everyone always talks about our age gap but to me it doesn't matter. But where I missed up badly is when I said "You're childish Spencer! I guess that's what I get for dating someone younger than me!". He was really hurt.

He told me that I was a liar. He said I was lying to him when I said that I didn't care about the age gap. I told him I didn't because I don't. But of course he was still mad, he was so mad that he broke up with me. I tried to apologize but he would not listen.

I cried and cried and cried. I regret what I said. Everyone checks up on me I tell them i'm fine. Penelope has been supportive. I told her I didn't love him and I didn't care anymore. Which was a lie.

I walk into Penelope's 'bat cave'. She sips some of her tea before turning around in her spinning chair. "Hey sweet pea!" she smiles. "Hi Pen" I softly smile, playing with my fingers. "You leaving soon?" she asks. "Uh yeah, I just wanted to check up and talk real quick"

I walk to her and sit on her desk. "So, what's up" she sips her tea once more. Should I tell her?

I sigh.

"I think i'm still in love with him" I confess to Penelope. "I knew it!" she squeals.

She knew it? Was it that obvious I wasn't over him. I mean yeah sometimes I look over to him but it's just a little look. "You knew it?" I question crossing my arms.

"Yup. You're always staring at him" she says wiggling her eyebrows. "Not true!" I defend.

She giggles. "You and boy genius need to get back together!" she says excitedly. "I'm going to try to talk to him" I tell her. "Go get 'em" she giggles. I smile at her before leaving the room.

I walk towards the elevator. Spencer was in there, perfect. I walk in, he immediately looks to his left, where I am not at. The doors close. "Spencer" I start.

"No. I don't care" he whispers rubbing his eyes. The elevator door opens. He tries to walk out but I stop him and put an arm in front of him. Then pressing the close door button.

"Y/n stop." he scolds. "No can you just talk to me" I beg. Spencer frantically presses the open door button. "Spencer stop you're going to jam the button" I pull his hand away from the buttons.

"Can you just listen to me" I whine.

I wish he understood how hard it was for me. I know what I said to him and I know it was wrong but I was in so much pain. I regret it. And it's all I think about. He's all I think about. He's the one I've always wanted. I met him when he was 22 of course I didn't try to be with him. Even though he's more mature than others his age he was still young. I felt like he was still a teenager. Now it's been three years. He's grown up, I don't see him as a teenager anymore. Because he's not. He's an adult.

I never wanted to hurt him.

"What?! What Y/n! You're the one who called me childish. You're the one who has a problem with our age gap. You're the one who obviously wanted to be with someone closer to your age like Morgan!" he snaps.

I can not believe him.

"What is it with you Spencer? Firstly, I said that because I was overwhelmed. I love you Spencer. I'll never stop loving you okay?! But you have some insecurity with your age and it's so stupid! If I wanted to he with someone closer to my age I would! But I picked you so stop it!" I cry.

He just shakes his head. The doors finally open. He walks away. I jog trying to catch up to him. He walks out the building. "Spencer stop" I grab his arm in the middle of the parking lot. "What!" he yells at me.

Tears run down my face. He hasn't really yelled at me like he has just now. "I want to be with you Spence!" I yell back at him.

His face softens. "I'm sorry, please. I didn't mean what I said. I love you so much. I was just mad at you for accusing me of cheating. I love you so so so much and I don't care if you're ten years younger or ten years older. Please forgive me" I choke through my tears.

He hugged me. He didn't say anything, he just held me. "Y/n I love you so much. I'm sorry for accusing you babe. The comment just really hurt me" he sighs kissing my forehead. He nuzzles his head into my shoulder.

"I'm sorry love" I rub his back gently.

"It's okay" he whispers. I cry into his chest some more wetting his shirt. I pull away and get on my tippy toes kissing his lips lightly. "You're beautiful you know that?" I tell him.

He nods and laughs. "You used to tell me a lot" I cheekily smile and hold his hand rocking back and forth. "We've been standing here for like 20 minutes" Spencer giggles. "Yeah, we should head back to your house"

"Okay, are you going to take your car or are we going to leave it here"

"Mmmm we shall take your car, it'll be faster to get to your house and have makeup sex" I smirk at him. He looks down at me. "I really love you" he smiles before picking me up and walking to his car.