Teach Me How To Live -~Zen Wistaria x Reader~-

I Surrender

Days passed me by. Slowly, bit by bit, my mind had often wondered towards hope.. That ended once words began spreading around though. Word of my kingdom under attack.. Word of my father, the king, murdered by none other than Dominic. Dominic demanded my body unharmed or covered in blood. It was me or my kingdom now.

I lost that spark of hope.

Not only was tanburan taken by Dominic but the people of clarines had began to rally. They heard of izonas 'new found' love for Annalise. Someone from tanburan. Dominic used Annalise to turn clarines into a hell for izona. Dominic demanded not only I, but Annalise as well. Of course izona declined. The people couldn't care less for Annalise, they hated her and didn't trust her. Meanwhile, they wanted me to return home and fight like I always had before. They said I was dragging this hell out..

I couldnt think of a single thing to get us out of this situation. They took tanburan. They're threatening clarines after they had experienced a major massacre. War is inevitable. So many would die though and we don't even know what other forces Dominic has on his side.

I had been home in clarines for a month now and all month I have done nothing nor have I spoke a word to anyone. Not even to zen.. it wasn't like I could be with zen anyway, he had to take care of this situation. I wasn't able to at all.

It was nearly 10 pm. I was outside sparing alone just to waste my time when two people were being carried towards me. Towards the pharmacy. I couldnt see them yet I was curious. I was scared they were spys. I followed far behind. When they were alone inside with chief and shirayuki, I walked in. They were covered in blood and bruises and one was missing their foot..

These two were unrecognizable to me until I saw through the blood on their clothes. They were my attendants.. Beaten and destroyed. A note chief read aloud was stashed in Leon's pocket. It was from Dominic. He let them live to deliver me a message.

"Y/n, you will come back to me.." Chief read the last line.

"Y/n?" Shirayuki and chief had finally noticed me at the door. I left as soon as they saw me. Now it is time to go.

I took myself to my old room. I put on an outfit I could move in, an old dress that went to my shins along with shorts under and a cloak over everything else. I couldnt forget my belt and swords.. I did leave something behind though.. I traveled to zens room and found him asleep sitting up with a book in his hands like every night. I took the book from him and set it down. I blew out the candle and laid him down. It was now that I left my heart with him.

I took off the ring he gave me. The one I had refused to take off since I had been hiding here in clarines. Next I took off his watch. I set both these next to his book on the nightstand. Finally, as tears streamed from my eyes, I gave him one last kiss.

"Ill never forget the love you gave me, Zen.. We will be together someday, just not now.." I whispered against his lips before kissing him for a final time. He's so at peace right now. I'll miss him more than ever but I have to go now..

I finally left.. After a year, maybe more, of fighting off everything Dominic has thrown my way, I finally gave in. During this month, I told myself I wouldn't go without at least trying to fight. I won't ever disrespect myself or my family name like that. If I lose and if I truly become stuck to Dominic body and soul, at least everyone will know I didn't go without a fight.

I traveled for days alone. Everyone in the kingdom of clarines was looking for me. Word spread like a wild fire I left to surrender. Some thought it was good that I was a coward and deserved this while others thought I'd never leave this country or mine in those conditions. Their words didn't matter to me though.

When I reached the boarder of tanburan, men were already waiting for me. They took me by force to Dominic. They wore masks and armor, I had no idea who these men were supposed to be. I let them push me around for a while till I got back to my castle. My kingdom is in ruins but at least nothing had been burned down.. I just hope my people are alright..

"Y/n.." That evil voice called to me so lovingly. I was forced on my knees in front of this man I feared with every inch of my being. I didn't dare look at him. "It took you far too long to get here. I suppose after seeing what happened to your friends it finally clicked. You didn't even come to rescue your own father" I couldn't hear these words. I wasn't ignoring them, I just genuinely didn't hear them. I guess being drugged does that to you. I'm so dizzy..

I was so zoned out but fear struck me once he touched me. That pain was back. "Dear, you've really filled out some. Your perfect skinny little body went away.. I suppose we can fix that though" Dominic sighed while fear consumed my body. My skin aches and itches. It's burning and I want to die. "Guards, take her to her father for some family time."
Father?..

I was dragged underground to the royal families escape tunnels. Father really was here. He's in bad shape but he's alive!

"No.. Y/n, you shouldn't have came.." Father was in disbelief and even cried in front of me.

"Finally, well be married and rule this kingdom together. A pity raji couldn't make the family reunion." Dominic sneered. Wait-.. Married?..

"Oh god.." I mumbled as my eyes widened.

"What is it dear? You're really shocked?" Dominic asked and came a bit closer.

I gave a very visible shiver. Married to this.. thing? "Disgusting.."

Immediately a guard cleared his throat almost as if he held back a laugh. "Your tongue is disgusting.. I should cleanse it.. maybe cutting it off would help." Those words struck fear into my heart. He really would do it too. He held a dagger in his hand as he came closer. His nasty hand snaked around my hip and his dagger guided my face towars his yet I still didn't look. I shut my eyes. "How cute." He said before he forced himself on me. Father looked away..

Dominic invaded my mouth and touched my body places I hated. And I cried. It was loud and full of fear and hatred. I managed to break away from this man's slimy fingers for years yet here I am stuck in chains all over again.

This is what I wanted though, wasn't it? This is what I had prepared myself for. For the horrors and pain. For the blood and tears. This is what I chose to protect everyone else. I shouldn't cry. I shouldn't scream in pain nor should I regret my decision. This was my choice afterall.

I quieted. The torture went on till I was still and quiet. Till he was bored. Till I was pushed down, cut by the shoulder and chained to a cage. There I stayed. I didn't speak a word to father. I didn't speak when spoke to by guards. I got kicked, punched, beat, and still stayed numb.

I stayed down.