can i walk with you - heejay

chapter seven

it had been a couple days since heeseung's practice game and the weekend approaching. none of the boy's said a thing about jay not showing up, it wasn't that they didn't care, they just didn't want to overstep, their friendship was still new after all.

though it became hard to keep their mouths shut, jay had been jittery all week. jumping at small noises, flinching at the lightest touch, but still they kept quiet, letting taehyun handle it. this put a strain on their relationship.

the boys felt like they weren't close enough yet to communicate their worries to jay, and jay simply felt as if they didn't care about him.

it was friday when heeseung had finally reached his breaking point, turning in his chair to face jay.

"jay, can we talk?" heeseung called out softly, knowing jay was sensitive to loud sounds.

jay raised his eyebrows in confusion, but he quickly agreed. after telling the boys where they were going, heeseung led jay out of the lunchroom, both of them ignoring the curious glances they were being given. people need to mind their own business, heeseung thought to himself, fighting back an eye roll.

once they had arrived at the school's garden, the two found a bench to sit on. it was silent until heeseung spoke up, "i'm worried about you. you've been so jumpy the last couple of days, you barely speak more than a couple words per sentence, and you don't even eat your lunch. i'm here, jay. you can talk to me, i'll listen."

heeseung wanted nothing more than to hold jay's hand, but he was unsure if jay would be comfortable with that in the state he is in. so instead, heeseung just kept his hands to himself, hoping jay understood just how much he cared for him.

"i'm not ready to talk about it yet," jay spoke quietly, heeseung's ears straining to hear the smaller boy.

"okay, that's okay," heeseung said, trying his best to give jay a comforting smile. though it came out looking a bit weird, but what can you say, the boy was definitely trying. "just know that i'm here for you. whenever you're ready, i'll listen."

jay looked down at his hands, fiddling with his thumbs as heeseung spoke. the taller really did care for him.

"thank you, heeseung." jay said, lifting up his head, smiling for the first time in a while.

"anytime, love," heeseung spoke lightly, this time giving jay a more natural smile, and not one so awkward that it would literally hurt jay if he saw it.

the two walked back to the cafeteria, the strain that was put on their relationship seeming to have disappeared. the atmosphere around them was a light one, filled with a certain comfort.

just like that the day was over, and the weekend finally arrived. jay spent those two days of freedom with the boys. it seemed his talk with heeseung helped him to relax. to forget, just for a little while.

it was sunday night, jay had just got back from the arcade he went to with the boys. the smile that was on his face just seconds ago when heeseung had dropped him off was gone. jay was exhausted.

he no longer had the boys to distract him from his dizzying thoughts. jay sighed as he slowly trudged up the stairs, reading the letter he found taped to the fridge.

it was from yeonjun, saying that he had gotten a refill of his meds and that he left it on his desk. once jay had to gotten his bedroom, he grabbed the pill bottle, quickly putting it in the drawer he usually kept them in. he hated just looking at them. they always brought up bad memories.