Hell Bound

Chapter 26- Resisting Reality

Chapter 26- Resisting Reality

I could of stopped it.

He didn't deserve it.

He was too young; just a boy.

I should of tried harder.

Those thoughts were on repeat in my head.

So were questions.

Consciously or not, we are all on a quest for answers, trying to learn the lesson of life. We search for meaning, love, and power. We try to understand fear, loss, and time. We seek to discover who we are and how we can be truly happy.

What is the lesson of life?

Is there even a way to understand fear, loss, or even time?

But most of all, who truly am I and how can I truly be happy?

Why can't life just be simple?

It's been a week since his passing. 8 days since I've been home. The doctor advised me to stay in the infirmary for another day so my bones could heal correctly again. My wrist and ankle were fractured being the worst of my injuries. After I was released, I walked to my room only to be reminded of when I was taken. I tried to block that experience from my mind  but it became to much. that's when I escaped to Christopher's room, locking the door to be alone. Being there both calmed me and upset me.

It gave me the comfort of his smell that lingered, while upset me from not being able to have him here with me.

Over the past week my friends have tried to talk to me and to get me out of the room but I always turned my back and ignored them. I know I was treating them horribly , I didn't want to, but I just didn't know what to do.

I've had trouble letting people in. When something good happens, something bad is just waiting around the corner. Chris was the first person to worm their way through my heart and barriers so fast and he gets killed. Whenever I get a twinge of happiness and it feels like everything is coming together it never lasts. I just want to protect myself from it.

I was torn between two worlds. While I sat here hiding from reality, Blake and everyone are getting pushed away.. by me. I was hurting them and myself because I didn't want to believe the past events. I was hurting to many people lately and I haven't even been taking care of myself. The food that was given to me would stay outside my door and I never left my room.

"get your shit together already, Hayles!" I jumped at the sound of my wolf shouting at me. The last time she tried contacting me was when I was leaving the hospital. I could tell that the loss affected her too but she was slowly getting through it.

"It's not that easy Lu." I sighed using the nickname of my wolf.

"Well make it easy. You're friends and mate are downstairs going through the same thing, you trapping yourself in this room is not helping anything! I miss him too but locking yourself up here won't bring him back and while your doing this your dampening my mood. Now get your ass downstairs and stop mopping around. Your friends are worried about you and you're not even eating. You're better than this! He wouldn't want you to be like this." Her rant turned from pissed to sympathetic in seconds.

"You're right." I sighed in defeat and pushed myself in a sitting position.

"Of course I am." Luna said smartly which made me laugh.

Lifting myself off of my bed I gathered clothes and made my way to the bathroom to take a shower. When I came out of the shower freshly dressed I grabbed my phone and slipped it in my back pocket before making my way downstairs. It was later in the afternoon so I knew everyone was up and from the loud voices I heard it wouldn't be hard to find them. Instead of following the voices though I made my way to the kitchen to eat. Boy was I starving. Making myself some soup I got a bowl and spoon out and set it down and continued to ready my meal. 5 minutes later I was sitting in front of the counter eating my soup and taking little sips of my water. When I was finishing I could here Blake coming but I kept eating soup and waited to see if he would go in the kitchen. Indeed he did and I didn't know how much I missed him until I saw him.He didn't notice I was in the kitchen as he made his way to the fridge, so I slowly got up from my chair and made my way over to him wrapping my arms around his waist and hugging him from behind. Turning around he immediately wrapped his arms around me, bringing my body closer and kissed my forehead. I hugged him tighter. Just being here, I was no longer in a sad mood.

Here in his arms, I realized something I didn't before.

I loved him.

A/N

I know this chapter isn't the longest as the last one but I'm hoping you hate me a little less than before?

So in the beginning Haylee admitted to having trouble letting people in and trusting them. What do you think about that?

Also who expected Luna to say that?

What do you think about Haylees confession?

Comment about anything else you please and I hope you enjoyed this chapter.

~Stephanie