Unexpected Promises

Chapter 79

Atifa's pov:

Watching him getting stunned with whatever he read, I took the journal from his hands, curious to know what it was that had made him a statue.

22nd March, 2015

Dani...

I- I realised something. Not right now, but today. You know what happened today?

Today when I was going to the kitchen in the morning to make breakfast, I overheard Maaz and Zara, Saad's bhabi, asking him when he was going to talk to me about Atifa's ruksati. I didn't mean to eavesdrop, I swear, it's just that when I was heading to the kitchen, I overheard them talking about it. And it made me realise that I… I just dug my own grave…

I- I was scared of losing our princesses and now I… I will have to give away our daughter? God! You were right! I don't think about things thoroughly and just act impulsively. I was so happy to get her married to a good guy that I didn't even think about the fact that I would have to let her go too! And I- I'm not ready for that. I- I just can't let her go Dani. I can't lose her too. I have already lost you and only Allah knows how I survived for so long. How will I even be able to live if she leaves me too?

Plus, I know that I don't have much time left in this world, and I want to spend it with our princesses. I- I can't let them go. I don't want to let them go! What am I supposed to do now Dani? What will I answer Saad?

You know what else happened today?

In the afternoon, Atifa got to know that I kidnapped Saad and she wasn't ready to listen to me. She thought that I forced him to marry her. I mean, obviously she would have gotten to know about it someday or the other, but the fact that Saad told her that himself infuriated me. I thought that he was a considerate boy. I- I mean, maybe it's not his fault but she got to know about it from him only, right? I don't exactly know how she got to know, but Dani, I- She shouldn't have told me off na.

She… she confronted me about it and didn't believe him. I'm kind of glad that she didn't just blindly trust him and instead asked me about it, but she should have at least let me clear my point. I mean, I know maybe she was angry but even I didn't get enough time to actually comprehend anything properly. It wasn't like I forced him to marry her! And- and why didn't Saad tell her everything if he even told her about the kidnapping part? I-

I know maybe she didn't want to hear him, but I was so hurt… I couldn't stop thinking about it the whole afternoon. And you know, she even left our home without even listening to us. But she made me realise one thing. And it was that maybe he actually liked someone else or maybe his parents had already chosen someone else for him but I forced him to marry her? Or maybe he had other goals to accomplish before taking up someone's responsibility but I just… forced him to take it up without even considering his opinion or asking him about his plan.

Was morning's question not enough that this also had to come?

But anyways, I couldn't stop thinking about everything the whole day. And so, I came to a conclusion. I was going to turn back to how I used to be; cold. And we are going to leave this house tonight, in a few hours. That way, Atifa wouldn't be leaving with Saad and staying with me, and if Saad had any other plans for his future, he could work on them. I'm sure that one day he will come back to take her. As much as I have known him, I'm sure that he won't just leave his responsibilities behind and actually work on achieving them.

I also know that it might hurt them, but at least they can work on themselves. And- and I can't let her go. I don't want to Dani. At least not now, not when I just lost you almost two years back. I'm not ready for another wound. I don't know if it will even be able to heal. I- I'm not ready Dani. I'm not… I'm not that strong… I'm not that brave…