October Academy

Chapter 73 - BONUS CHAPTER

We meet at a coffee shop in town. It's walking distance from the Nine Lives. Even after Darcy got Star Fire fixed for me, I haven't been able to drive her since what Taylor did. It almost feels like all the joy in the world disappeared when Perry died. Everything that mattered to me now means nothing. All I have is Ben. So long as we can keep up his tuition, I won't feel like my life is a waste.

I'll keep working at the skating rink, get paid by my Olympic sponsorship, keep selling fake ID's to kids at October Academy, work at the Nine Lives in between, maybe even sell some art...

I see Darcy before he sees me. Just his presence does something to my whole body. He makes me feel hot and cold at the same time – like I'm sweating with goosebumps. The idea of being close to him makes me feel sick. It makes me feel nauseous. How can I feel such a dichotomy? How does the idea of him hurting physically pain me, yet the idea of being near him hurt just as much?

Why does a very small part of me... hate him?

He turns around from where he's seated in the small coffee shop. Every wall is lined with books. Lanterns hang from the ceiling. I can imagine Darcy coming here when he needs to relax, reading a book and drinking coffee. He's so...

He stands up as I make my way over to him. His expression... it makes me wince. Just the small micro-expressions – the way his eyebrows are slanted, the slight quiver in his cheeks, the tightness of his jaw... I can feel his confusion and anger and pain.

Why did Jackson have to ruin everything?

Darcy pulls me into a hug, so quickly and firmly that I somewhat stumble into him. I sigh into his chest and hesitantly wrap my arms around him in response. He's shaking, ever so slightly.

"I've missed you," he says, quietly into my hair.

"I know." I told myself I wouldn't cry. Why do I feel like crying now? Why isn't the numbness working today like it has for the past month?

"I ordered you a hot chocolate," he says.

"Thank you," I murmur into his shirt. I step back abruptly and take a seat opposite to where he was sitting. The dark wooden table feels like a barrier between us.

He takes a seat too. "Please say something."

I open my mouth to speak but nothing comes out. I planned what I was going to say. Yesterday, I rehearsed in front of the mirror for an hour. An hour. I've never spent that much time practicing anything. I've never been able to concentrate that long on anything.

"Why have you been avoiding me all this time? Why do I feel like I did something wrong? It's been a month. A whole month. I'm losing it. I need to see you – I hate this... why are you doing this?" he finally says, erratically, not pausing to breathe.

"You... you've done nothing wrong Darcy," I say and I have to bite my lip to keep from crying.

"Then why are you taking it out on me?"

"You knew it was never going to be us at the end."

"I – what? How can you say that?"

"That's why it took you so long to let me in."

His features show a flash of betrayal before he tries to compose himself. "That's not why. That was never why and you know it."

"You knew deep down-"

"I knew that I was going to end up needing you more than you need me."

"Don't –"

"I'm not! That day... that day you stayed in my dorm. I woke up and I was holding you and you looked so small and so peaceful and I knew how much you meant to me then. And I was so, so scared of losing you that I tried to push you away. I tried to push you away so I wouldn't get attached, but I already was. I am. I can't lose you."

"Don't you get it Darcy? I can't love you."

"Yes you can, please."

"I can't. It's like spitting in my parent's face. It's sleeping with the enemy."

"I'm not..." he leans back like I've physically wounded him, "I'm not your enemy."

"You are. You're part of it."

"Jade – you've lost your mind," he shakes his head exasperatedly.

"This is bigger than we are. This is... I want bigger than this."

"Don't you see? This is exactly what he wanted," his voice starts getting louder, "he was lying to you, manipulating you-"

"No, Darcy. You... I need to tell you something, about your dad."

"It's lies – anything he's told you."

"Jackson didn't tell me. I saw it. I was there."

"What? What did you see?"

"He..." I trip over my words. "Your mother didn't kill herself, Darcy."

"What are you trying to say?" he says, offended.

"He killed your mother."

"You're lying." The corner of his mouth twitches.

"I'm not lying."

"You're delusional."

"Excuse me?" I stand up in one snap. "You are delusional. You think Jackson manipulated me – your father has you so blind-"

"Enough," he stands too, towering over me.

"I can't do this," I say, barging past him out of the coffee shop.

I step out onto the side walk, feeling a spray of soft rain begin.

"Jade," Darcy calls behind me, grabbing my arm before I can move. "Don't leave. Don't leave me, again."

"You don't believe me. After all we've been through - "

"Then how can you just leave? After everything?"

"We can't do this, Darcy. I can't get over it."

"You will. I'll wait."

I pray that the rain covers the tears spilling down my cheeks. "I'll always love you," I say, quietly, more to myself.

"Why does that sound like goodbye?" he says and I can almost see the blood drain from his features. He closes the gap between us and pulls me into his arms. He says 'I love you' over and over again into my hair. "Please, don't do this."

I look up at him and kiss him once, holding onto him, knowing it's going to be the last time.

I finally take a step back. "Goodbye, Darcy."

_______________________

part of me wishes this was a happier story. 

when i originally wrote the ending, it didn't end like this. 

two more bonus chapters then the final chapter coming!!! (three more chapters to go) 

i have rewritten the ending three times. would you like me to tell you the alternate realities at the end of the last chapter??? 

anyways.... thankyou for reading this. it literally blows my mind how many people are reading October Academy! the other day we were 3 in love triangle, and now we're 3 in rich!!! absolutely insane that anyone would voluntarily read the shit my brain comes up with. 

but i'm glad you're here and i hope you've enjoyed the process as much as i have. 

thank you for reading this. don't forget to comment and vote. it makes me feel so happy when you guys interact, because it's real people not just numbers, ya know? so comment or dm me if you want to ask any questions :)

love from, 

aurora