Jyesht's strife for kinship (A Karna-Arjun what-if story)

Draupadi takes the reins

Draupadi's pov

Draupadi was running up the stairs of the palace, beyond caring if she tripped over the hem of her saree. She found Karna sitting on the terrace with his head in his hands.

"What was all that nonsense about trying to get Yudhishthir to abandon the throne, jyesht?" she demanded.

"I have no answer to that," said Karna in a monotone.

"You have to have some!" said Draupadi. "I have never seen Arjun so--so--"

Karna looked up.

She finally found the correct word. "--so desensitized."

Misery was etched on every line on her brother-in-law's face.

"I am sorry I cannot do anything about it," he said. "You have no idea how much I wish I could."

"But," said Draupadi impatiently, "you don't want to keep jyesht Yudhishthir from the throne. You didn't become friends with them as part of a plot of Duryodhan's. You did it because you wanted to know your brothers, didn't you?"

Karna's reply was in a tone that suggested that he thought she was being stupid. "Well, obviously."

"Then why on earth did you not protest?"

"Panchali, I can't let Duryodhan know I lied to him. He will be horrified if he knew I took the coward's way out to get him to stop questioning me--"

Draupadi thumped her forehead so hard it stung.

"Don't do that," said Karna mildly. "You'll give yourself a headache."

"You and Arjun have already given me a splitting headache, jyesht."

"I'm sor--"

"Don't apologize," said Draupadi, her impatience increasing. "What is apologizing to me going to accomplish? I had no inkling you had made up this ridiculous justification for Duryodhan. How did you think it was going to end?"

Karna looked desperate. "I hoped the cousins would be on better terms by the time this came out into the open."

"But they are not. I do not think they are ever going to be on better terms. Now what are you thinking of doing?"

"Nothing," said Karna blandly.

"Nothing?"

"I cannot lose Duryodhan."

"But you can lose your brothers? And what's with this pilgrimage to Varanavat? Is Duryodhan trying to win jyesht Yudhishthir's favour now that he has realized he will be crowned?"

Karna's features went, if possible, still more miserable.

"What did Duryodhan say about the pilgrimage?" His voice was barely more than a croak.

"Good Lord," said Draupadi. "This is another plot, isn't it? What is it this time?"

"Panchali, please don't ask me anything I cannot tell you--I can't--I can't go against Duryodhan--I would die if my actions ever caused him any hurt--" 

"You know the motive behind this pilgrimage. It's something horrible, isn't it?" Draupadi's breaths were shallow. "You don't approve of it. But you are still going to let it go ahead because you cannot go against Duryodhan--"

Karna buried his head in his arms again. He did not move. Something about the abject defeat in his posture went straight to Draupadi's heart.

"Enough," she said, a steely note in her voice. "Get up, jyesht, it is time everyone knew the truth."

******************

"The--the truth?" said Karna hoarsely.

"Of your birth. You must tell the Pandavas that you are their brother. That is the only thing that will convince them that you were not Duryodhan's agent all along."

"And Duryodhan?" said Karna. "He told me to cut off all ties with the Pandavas immediately--he is annoyed enough without knowing I was lying to him all along..."

"Surely Yuvraj Duryodhan has a heart?" said Draupadi crossly. "Surely he will not have a problem with you wanting to have a nice relationship with your blood brothers? If you are scared he will hold the lie against you, you are admitting on your own that your precious friend is heartless."

"He is not heartless!" For the first time in that encounter, a bit of animation returned to Karna's posture.

"That is," said Draupadi heavily, "truly heartening to hear. Can we reveal the secret now?"

"No, we cannot, actually."

"Jyesht--"

"It is not our secret to reveal, Panchali," said Karna resolutely. "If the Queen Mother has hidden it for so many years, she must have her reasons. It is her secret, that gives her the right to decide if she wants to--"

"How it is not your secret, too?"

"I do not have any proof," said Karna. "I only overheard a conversation."

"You have Maharani Kunti's feet," pointed out Draupadi. "Jyesht Yudhishthir is forever wondering about that."

Karna gave a choked laugh. Encouraged, Draupadi slipped her arm through his.

"Come on, what more proof do you want? Let's go and talk to her..."

"I don't think we're doing the right thing, little sis."

"I know we are. Can you just trust me for once? You know I'm smarter than you."

Karna smiled and allowed her to lead him down the stairs. They had gone two flights when he spoke again.

"If we reveal it--" Karna did not meet her eyes. "Do you think both Duryodhan and my brothers would abandon me?"

Draupadi could hardly believe her ears.

"Jyesht, neither of them would dream of abandoning you. How can you even think they will?"

Karna did not say anything more. But he did not look convinced either, and every step of his as they went in search of the Queen Mother dragged. 

If only Maharani Kunti had claimed her firstborn sooner, the question would never have occurred to him. All his insecurity and fear for abandonment stemmed from that one incident.

His own mother had abandoned him.

******************

Outside the Queen's chamber, Karna stopped.

"I cannot do it, Panchali. I am not going to beg my mother to claim me."

"You are not going in to beg," said Draupadi fiercely. "She is the one who should beg you to accept her as your mother."

"You think she cares?" said Karna with a harsh laugh. "If she wanted to be my mother, would she not have mentioned it to me once in all these months?"

Draupadi, who had noticed how Kunti's eyes always went soft when she looked at Karna, knew better than to think she did not care. But Karna did not give her a chance to speak.

"Besides, I would never accept her as my mother and insult Radha Maa."

"Okay," said Draupadi in a voice of forced calm. "Nobody is going to ask you to insult Radha Maa... We just need to go in, talk to her, tell her to--"

Karna wrenched his arm out of her grasp.

"We are not bringing the Queen Mother into this. I am out of this nonsense. She is not my mother. Her sons are not my brothers."

"I am not your sister-in-law, either?"

"Don't you try to trap me." Karna didn't sound unkind, however. "I will go home for a bit; I haven't eaten with my parents in weeks. See you, little sis."

With that, he descended the stairs with long, purposeful strides.

Draupadi stared after him, shaking her head. Then she shrugged and turned back to the door.

"Well, jyesht, if you won't go in, I will."