Jyesht's strife for kinship (A Karna-Arjun what-if story)

The fear of losing a friend

Karna's pov

Karna was vaguely aware of a haze of acute panic as he broke the hug with his brothers and bolted after Duryodhan, who appeared to have disappeared.

"Duryodhan!" he shouted. "DURYODHAN!"

There was no answer in the voice he longed to hear; instead, Dussashan and Aswatthama had caught up with him, the former saying, "He will attempt to leave the palace, stop him before he does--!"

As they thundered down the stairs, Karna's panic spiraled out of control.

He could not bear the thought of Duryodhan being hurt. And he could certainly not bear the thought of Duryodhan being hurt due to him.

Suddenly, his own actions appeared unforgivable to him. He had known the truth and hidden the truth. He had lied to his best friend to escape his questioning. He had befriended his rivals and indirectly kept his best friend from the throne. 

He had betrayed his best friend in every way possible.

What if Duryodhan refused to forgive him? What if Duryodhan refused to forgive him--ever?

Aswatthama and Dussashan were still shouting as they reached the gardens.

"Duryodhan!" "Jyesht, will you please answer us! We are getting worried, you know!"

"Duryodhan," Karna called pleadingly.

There was finally a response.

Duryodhan appeared in front of them; his eyes were red from unshed tears and his hair disheveled like he had been tearing at it. 

He gave Karna such a cold look that the latter stopped in his tracks, his heart sinking down to his feet.

"What do you want," demanded Duryodhan in a shaking voice, "eldest of the Pandavas?"

*******************

"Duryodhan, don't be mad at me--please. You know people can't help their birth--"

Duryodhan struck out violently when Karna attempted to hold his shoulders.

"Don't you--don't you dare--"

"Will you please listen to me?"

"No, because there is nothing to listen to. Those brothers of yours--you were always--you were always in league with--with them--" 

He was going incoherent with rage--and what Karna thought grief--now.

Karna finally managed to catch his flailing arms and kept a firm hold on them.

"How can you doubt my loyalty towards you, Duryodhan? I would never betray you. I would die before I betray you."

"And what about those Pandavas?" screamed Duryodhan. "You are on their side, are you not? You are their brother. Their eldest brother. That Arjun--he--he--he said--"

His voice cracked.

"He said New Year is a time for family. Every day of the year is a time for family, anyway." He lowered his head, but not fast enough for the others to miss his tears. "You are their family."

Not daring to speak through the constriction in his throat, Karna attempted again to put his arms around his friend. This time he succeeded briefly before Duryodhan pushed him away.

"I am always on your side, Duryodhan," said Karna in a mumble.

"Not on theirs?" cried Duryodhan. "Tell me you are not on their side, Karna. Tell me you do not feel any loyalty towards them."