Jyesht's strife for kinship (A Karna-Arjun what-if story)

The mother whose secret was her son

Karna's pov

He had not decided what reason he would give to his parents of his suddenly turning up one evening without a prior letter. Normally, he sent a letter ahead before a visit, giving Radha Maa the chance to cook all his favourite dishes--which would be more than he could eat in a week--a win-win situation for both, because she loved feeding him as much as he loved her cooking.

For the first time in his life, he was nervous when he knocked on the door. 

I cannot tell them the truth and bother them. Maybe I should...

The door was opened.

"Karna!" 

Then Radha Maa's arms pulled him down and enveloped him, kissing his head and caressing his back.

"How have you been, darling? You have again stopped eating enough--look at you, you're skin and bones!" She slapped his arm in rebuke before hugging him again. "Well, it is lucky your dad went to the market today, you'd have to wait a bit for dinner, though...Adhirath! Look who's here!"

She did not give him the chance to speak. She did not ask for a reason. 

She simply made him feel home.

*******************

Karna screwed his eyes shut to keep the tears from falling. He failed, but luckily Radha Maa had already turned towards the kitchen and did not notice.

He had never felt thankful Maharani Kunti for what she had done to him. He had always held it against her; he had been resentful, hurt, angry, upset--just never thankful.

But what if she had not abandoned him?

There would have been no Radha Maa in his life.

Thank you, Queen Mother, he said in his mind, and said it again, and again.

*******************

By the time dinner was ready, it was nearly ten. Adhirath and Karna waited as Radha Maa bustled about, stirring bowls, chopping vegetables, firing the oven, all with a mermerising efficiency. Adhirath, as always, asked Karna every technical detail of running Anga; Radha Maa threw in questions about more mundane things such as palace decoration and maid appointments.

Updating them, listening to their stories in return, Karna never realized when he forgot about Duryodhan and Arjun and everything that had been plaguing him to death.

Till someone knocked on the door of their hut.

********************

"Who can be it at this hour?" Radha Maa wondered aloud as Karna went to open the door.

His blood froze.

"May I come in?" Queen Mother Kunti asked.

One glance at her face told him that she knew he knew her secret. Panchali must have... Oh, what did it matter how she knew? All that mattered was that she knew, and all he felt was humiliation.

He had never felt so humiliated in his life, not even at the arena. Under his birth mother's gaze, it was like he was completely at her mercy, that she could do whatever she wanted to him, and he could not protest. He felt like she was waiting for him to beg. 

Accept me. Accept me. Accept me.

Or was it he himself who was begging in his head?

Karna dropped the doorknob and fled to the kitchen. His parents looked up in surprise.

"Who was it?"

"Father, can you please get the door?" he choked.

As his father left, looking baffled, his mother kept the knife down, wiped her hands on her skirts and came to hold him by his shoulders.