𝐊𝐞𝐞𝐩 𝐋𝐲𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐘𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟 || 𝐋𝐞𝐯𝐢. 𝐀

Chapter 17

Friends reconnect and forgive. A late mother's adages are remembered. Memories of connection come to our minds. And many of us believe in an afterlife where we will join our loved ones again.

In this tangled web of life, we are all connected. Our minds, hearts and souls are in sync with the world around us. When we are not connected to that world-when we feel separate-it is often expressed in mental health problems.

If we remembered that we are connected, our hearts would warm and our grief would ease. When we bring to mind the unbreakable bonds between us and a loved one, as well as the influence those have had on our lives, the fear of loving someone you love would decrease.

Depression makes us feel bereft, isolated, left out, unloved and like we don't belong anywhere–separate. Anger comes from a sense of injustice that happened to us–it stems from an "us-them" mentality.

All of these are in our minds. We create a world where we are separate and don't belong, and are victimized and then we feel worse and worse. Where, in reality, this makes us blind to the love we do have in our lives, blind to the people who care about us, and blind to our own contributions in life. This is a lose-lose.

Instead of being immobilized by fear I  should have spent more time with my friends, told them I love them, show them I love them, keep them company, offer them help, and thank

The overwhelming emotions can be paralyzing.

It's my struggle with 'what is' that causes pain. The longer I try to resist the pain, the more it persists. Yet the worst has already happened; my circumstances are what they are.

On an emotional level perhaps I've sunk to the depths of despair, which sit in a pit of hopelessness.

I’m alone in a dark, murky world. All I feel right now is cold, anxiety, and…scared. I’m already too tired to run. I’m shaking in a pitch-black world. Then I hear someone’s voice in the distance.

"(y/n)! Oh my God! (y/n)!"

Hange....?

Nah... It can't be her...  I'm probably hallucinating.

“Are you all—hey!? What the…?” Someone is shaking my shoulder roughly.

Why does her voice sound so real?

Wait...

I snap back into consciousness blankly, then, I’m aware of the terrible cold around me. My wet clothes are clinging to my cold body.

"H-Hange?"

When my eyes bring the world into focus, I see the face of a familiar woman. She's looking at me with a concerned expression.

"come on..let's go."

"W-Where's Levi..?"

I stand up with her support. "Levi and Kakashi are taking care of the business."

"wait... Kakashi is also-"

"yes, let's leave before someone else shows up."

I took a step out of the cell, and a sudden chill swept through my bones, I could see my breath, every exhale sent forth a small cloud, 

The path seems soft, intangible even. Darkness sticks to my face as I walk down the empty hallway.

The gunshots were heard pretty clearly.

I knew they were fighting...

I tried to tell myself nothing was going to happen I felt my heartbeat race, and my mind was engulfed with negative thoughts.