The smell of smoke and curiosity

~Lost~

My eyes awoke to the strange sound of beeping, I could have sworn I was just standing in my kitchen with Dante, and now I don't know where I am, my eyes start to widen, revealing tubes coming from my arms, one white and one red, am I in the hospital? In a confused mess, I shot up and began to panic, what happened? where's Dante? why am I here? in the midst of my panic the room door opens and a nurse walks in with Dante, looking everywhere but at me, they exchange a few words before she looks over at the machine I'm attached to before walking out again, leaving us with awkward silence so incredibly loud it makes me want to scream just to stop it.

I'm glaring at him, but he's not looking at me, I'm glaring because I'm waiting for an explanation, a reason, god even a word to drop from his mouth, but nothing, nothing but guilt is written all over his face, but why? "So are you going to explain why I'm here or just stare at the floor? because I can't seem to remember why I'm here for some reason" he doesn't sit, just stands at the foot of my bed, gripping the edge of it. He lets out a sigh before finally opening his mouth to speak "I can't see you anymore. You're in here because of me, I shouldn't even be here right now, but I had to see if you would wake up" his words only confuse me more, what the hell is he talking about? "Had to see if I would wake up? what are you talking about, you're not making any sense Dante just spit it out!" I shout, I'm getting angry, only because I'm lost and hurting but I don't know why I'm hurting, I feel all woozy and I just want his touch but that seems like the farthest thing I'll be getting any time soon. 

He begins to stretch his head, he only does that when he's thinking about something really serious, his silence and how far he is from me are beginning to scare me. "You've been unconscious for 3 days Willow. I attacked you, I almost killed you" he finally looks up, with tears filling up his eyes, he must be lying, he wouldn't hurt me like that I know he wouldn't. I don't respond only think, I'm trying to think hard about what happened but nothing but little flashes of what possibly happened are in my mind, one second I cut my finger, and the next he doesn't respond to me, my hand is on his shoulder and then, red. Red eyes flashed before me, making me jump, and then I'm here, but it wasn't like him, that wasn't like the Dante that I know, that was something else completely, who was that?

I look up at him, his face drawn, like he hadn't slept in days, knowing him he probably hasn't, he's probably been worried all this time, I just want to hold him so tight and never let go, to take away all his pain and his troubles, but I know now that he won't let me. "I should go" he mumbled before making his way to the door, I want to scream stop, wait, don't go, but nothing comes out, I should give him some space, some time to think, he's not going to forgive himself easily and I don't even understand what happened, he said to me he almost killed me, but all I can think about is whether he is okay.

Shortly after getting released from the hospital that day I walked home, I needed to clear my head, I glanced at his door, placing my hand and head on it, wondering if I see if he is okay, but I'm frightened the more I try the more he may push me away, so instead I swallow my feelings and go into my home. As I walk in it all flashes back to me, every second that went by when he was draining me, I felt how scared he was when he pulled away, I heard him cry out to me, he screamed, he was shaking, then it all went black. He never meant to hurt me, he himself doesn't understand why it happened, and that's why he's staying away, I think he's trying to figure that out and I should let him, but I want to see him so bad, it feels too quiet, I feel lonely like a piece of me is missing, that piece is only next door, not far but still out of my reach. 

My floor is slightly stained red like he tried to clean it up but even that was too much for him. I'll sort it out later I thought, right now I need to rest, I walked into my bedroom and saw my phone on the side, I know he can't see me right now, but maybe, just maybe he will talk a little bit, I should at least try, but what should I say?

Me: how are you? click click click Me: how ar- 

No that's stupid I can't ask that, I keep typing and re-typing different things but I can't think. I need something more simple to say to him to at least start the conversation. 

Me: Have you managed to get any sleep? 

That's simple enough, or as simple as it's gonna get. Not even one minute goes by before I get a text back, It's almost like he was doing the same thing as me, staring at his phone wanting to speak but not knowing how. 

Dante: No, I haven't slept in a while, aren't you going to rest soon?

Me: You really should try to sleep, I'm worried about you. I've rested enough for the both of us, I'll be awake all night if you can't sleep you can always talk to me all night. 

Dante: Don't worry about me, look after yourself please, I don't know what to say to you. 

Me: I'll always worry about you. How about I tell you a story to try to get you to sleep?

Dante: Thanks you actually made me smile then, go on then, this I need to hear. 

His smile, how I miss it so much it feels like forever since I last saw it. We exchanged texts back on forth for hours, I told him a story of a clumsy princess who met a handsome prince and they fell in love, he seemed to enjoy it, then after a while, I didn't receive any more messages, he must have fallen asleep, finally, I really do love him so much and don't want to lose him, I'd rather lose myself over and over again than ever lose him.