Boy's Planet added contestant: Bae Sangwon

Dreams may come true, but so do nightmares

⚠️ trigger warning ⚠️ : this whole chapter is about a psychotic episode. descriptions of auditory hallucinations

there's a summary at the end of this chapter if it's too much

once again the timeline is so vague so writing with my interpretation of events

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Sangwon found himself in the practice room really early. The past few day his sleep schedule was suspiciously inconsistent. This was a common warning sign of a psychotic episode for him so he was scared.

How lucky he was.

'Ah shit. What do I do..." He checked the clock on the wall. 7:28am. With how stigmatised and stereotyped schizophrenia is in Korea, Sangwon didn't feel comfortable telling most of his fellow trainees.

He knew he had to tell the team something about what's going on, but what exactly was he supposed to say?

A period of time passed before the practice room door opened. "Hyung, there you are! Breakfast is out, I've been looking for you." Gunwook said. Sangwon looked back at the clock. 8:47am. He might have zoned out the whole time.

So his negative symptoms are getting worse too.

Sangwon wordlessly stood up and went with Gunwook. They walked to the bustling cafeteria to find the rest of their team sitting together. Most of the teams did this to try and grow close enough to work well together.

They got breakfast and sat with the team. "Where were you Sangwon?" Hwanhee asked. He must've noticed the empty bed.

"I found him in the practice room." Gunwook replied.

"I couldn't sleep so I tried to practice." Sangwon said, conveniently leaving out the part where he didn't because his limbs felt like lead.

"On an empty stomach?" Keonhee asked concerned.

"I was practicing vocals so I thought I'd be fine." Sangwon replied.

"Ok, as long as you can practice later."

Yuseop got back from returning his tray and changed the topic.

"Hwanhee hyung, have you learned the choreography?"

Sangwon started zoning out again as the conversation continued.

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Throughout practice that morning Sangwon caught himself making many more mistakes than usual. He also felt very unfocused and his energy drained much faster than normal.

Again, his negative symptoms were getting more severe.

"Alright let's take 10." Gunwook announced and turned to face Sangwon. "Sangwon hyung can we talk for a bit?"

They walked to the camera less staircase to talk as the others took a breather.

"You've been really distracted the whole time, is something wrong?"

"Yes." Sangwon numbly replied.

Disconnection from feelings and emotions. This is one of Sangwon's main negative symptoms. The apprehension that was there just a few days ago? Shoved away from his mind, he wasn't feeling it.

Gunwook was silent for a long time. He stared at Sangwon like he grew two heads, probably trying to figure out what he meant.

"Hyung you're gonna have to elaborate on that." Gunwook said.

Sangwon nodded. "It stops focus." he said slightly dazed.

Disorganised thinking is also common for Sangwon. When his symptoms worsen at least.