Shattered Dreams

FORTY-FOUR.

"So sick from all of the scars they left,
Searching' for more than this life can give."

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

NADIA'S POV:

As soon as Corey left I fell right to sleep, but it didn't last long. I was up crying most of the night, only being able to get up to half an hour's rest every couple of hours. My parents were prepared for this, so they stocked the freezer full of different flavours of ice cream and ice lollies. I have spent most of the time awake sucking away at an ice lolly because it is the only thing that seems to help even slightly.

The only thing I am enjoying about not skating anymore is that I can eat as much shit as I want too without having my coach nag me for it.

I shove a spoonful of ice cream in my mouth when my door is flung open by Willem who goes straight for the bowl in my hand. He takes the spoon out of my mouth and gets his own mouthful of ice cream. "That's disgusting, now I can't eat that."

"Sure you can." He shrugs and hands the bowl back to me but I refuse so he carries on eating it. I feel myself beginning to get grumpy because that ice cream is to help me with my pain, which is pretty fucking bad right now, and he decides to steal the ice cream in my hand and not get his own in the freezer full of it downstairs.

My parents come into my room shortly after and I prepare myself for what they are about to tell me or ask me. I never have all three of them in my room, unless they are giving me bad news.

"What?" I ask hoarsely and mum sits on the end of my bed.

"We are off for a little last minute weekend away. Your dad and I have been invited to speak for my publishing company." Mum explains.

"So it will just be Willem and I?" I query and they all share a look between them and I feel my heart drop.

"No, sweet. Willem is coming with us to help us with preparing everything." She clarifies, handing me the card so I can get stuff if I need to whilst she is away. I have my own card that I can use to get stuff but I guess she feels bad for leaving me all on my own.

"And I can't come because of my surgery?" I ask but it was more of a rhetorical one because no one answers me. I can't help but feel a little deflated that they are going without me, even though I know I am not well enough to. I can't help but wonder that they are lying to me and are going somewhere nice but feel bad for excluding me because they never leave me out of anything.

I can't blame them for wanting some time away from me. I am the biggest hassle they have in their life so they do deserve to spend some time alone, baggage free.

It's not like I want to go with them, I just wish that they had invited me. This whole illness has been completely isolating so to have other people not ask me to join them because they think I can't do it sucks. I definitely can't do it but from my point of view it makes me feel like they are forgetting about me, or that they don't want me there because I will bring the mood down.

"The journey would just be too much for you, especially considering you've just had surgery." My dad confirms, observing the sunflowers that now sit in a vase on my dressing table. My dad and Willem both have no idea that these flowers are from Corey, they both assume they are from Jasper, as if Jasper was even thinking about me when I had my surgery.

I have had no message from Jasper or Maddy wishing me luck, or asking how I am and I don't even know why I expect it from them anymore. They don't care about me or my wellbeing so I should stop caring about them not caring about me. It's not good for my mental health. I can't help that I am an emotional person though, So I won't apologise or back down if I react to something. It's normal to show emotions over certain situations.