Shattered Dreams

FIFTY-FIVE.

"Sometimes I get so scared it all will fall away,
And I need to remember just to breathe."

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

COREY'S POV:

I don't remember falling asleep, nor do I even remember watching any of the movie but I have an empty bowl in front of me, meaning that I did end up finishing my food unless someone else stole it, which seems to be the one with the highest chance of being right.

I have no idea what time it is but this is the second time I have been woken up tonight so I hope my sleep schedule isn't affected by this too much. Everyone else is asleep on the sofa, Lily looking comfortable under her duvet with her legs resting on mine and my brother has Will tucked into his side and they are both snoring away.

At least they both snore so they can't complain at one another.

I didn't mean to fall asleep with them downstairs because I wanted to at least check in on Nadia before I did fall asleep. I always feel sleepy in her presence, even when she isn't in the same room as me, I can sense she is there and it brings me so much comfort that I can't explain. It helps me feel young again and I feel content. I did want to leave her alone because that is what she wanted but I didn't mean for it to be for that long, just long enough for her to think through everything going on inside her head. I also know that she hates being seen when she's in pain so I had to make myself scarce. 

I hear a lot of commotion going on upstairs and I grow worried as it will either be my mother or Nadia. I move my sister's legs from on mine and rush upstairs to try and find the route of this noise. It's coming from the main bathroom that all three of us share as their parents have their own so it can't be my mum.

I try the door and see that it's unlocked so I make my way inside, not caring about if I will be invading her privacy or not. I see Nadia hunched over the toilet seat with her head practically in the bowl and I grow panicked at the sight of her.

"Woah, are you okay?" I rush out my words as I run over to her and she jumps at my voice, not expecting me there.

"Yeah, I'm sorry for waking you." Is all she says and her voice is deep and rough, as if she has just thrown up a lot

"I'm sorry for leaving you alone," I admit, gathering her hair in my hands to hold it out of her face just in case she throws up again. When I gather the hair that's in her face, I feel that her skin is burning up and is soaking wet and the hair I'm trying to remove is physically sticking to her sweaty forehead.  "How long have you been like this?"

"I'm not sure," She begins and then she throws up into the toilet again and it's like she practically chokes on it as there is so much of it. "I'm so sorry about this."

"Shh,' I coo whilst stroking her head with my free hand in an attempt to comfort her as being sick is the worst feeling in the world, especially when it doesn't seem to ever want to stop.

"No, I'm sorry." She says again before throwing up once more. The thing with being sick is that when you think it's over more just keeps on coming.

"Nads," I begin, making sure she doesn't start puking again before I continue. "Just shut up."

She nods and then lets out a large breath as she flushes the toilet and moves so she is sat with her back against the wall. "I think that's the last of it."

"Thank fuck for that." I chime, sitting down next to her on the floor, copying the way she is sitting and cross my legs with my back leaned against the wall.

"Go away, Corey," She practically begs me as she starts pushing me away from sitting next to her. 'I don't want you catching this if it is infectious."

"I'm sure I'll survive, Nads." I remind her that my immune system isn't as bad as hers.

"No, you won't. You have competitions coming up and I want you to be in full health so that winning can be your main focus." She speaks to me like she is my mother.

"Winning is always my main focus." I lie because whenever I am on the ice these days, I don't think about what it'll feel like to win, I'm thinking of Nadia and how she is feeling and what she is doing when she isn't in the stands watching me.

"Good, as it should be," She responds and I go to rest my head on her shoulder but she jumps at the action, causing me to lift my head up and look at her in bewilderment. "Get off me."

"Why? Did I hurt you?" I ask her, a ball of panic rising in my throat.

"No, I just don't want you catching this if it is something contagious is all,"  She explains to me and I relax and then begin to laugh.  "What's so funny?"

"I think we are a little bit past me catching it when I was holding your hair back as you were kissing the toilet." I spell it out to her and she says silent, knowing I made a fair point and she has no argument for it.

"Fair point well made. I hope it is contagious so you feel absolutely horrible with it." She smiles at me and I want to kiss her but I hold myself back because she has just been throwing up and although I love the girl that is one thing I am not willing to do for her.

I smile back and think of our memories over the last few days and how well she has done and then I am reminded that we slept together so panic strikes within me once more. I feel my throat go dry and I attempt to swallow but it is a pathetic effort as there is no saliva in my mouth to swallow.

"Why have you gone so pale? You're not catching this already are you?" Nadia asks me, putting her hand on my forehead to check my temperature but I still stay frozen in shock.

"No, no it's not that," I reassure her but my voice doesn't sound too convincing.

"Right..." She looks utterly confused and I'm shocked it's taking her this long to piece together what I have. "Is it my vomit breath? Is it really that bad?" She puts her hands over her mouth as she speaks so her words come out muffled but I can still make out what she is saying just about.

"If I'm being honest, I can't say I really noticed," I tell her and she narrows her eyes at me and her hands fall back into her lap.

"Then what the fuck is up with you?" She questions me again, growing even more worried at my silent nature. I stay in this stare for a while and Nadia is growing more and more panicked when every one of her questions stays unanswered. I can tell the constant talking is exhausting her and that she is in massive amounts of pain so I don't even think before I tell her what's going through my head.

"We need to get you a pregnancy test." I blurt out and her face morphs into shock before turning confused and then amusement fills up her face.