Him (Chris Sturniolo)

Nineteen

Chris
I did the right thing.

She had feelings for me and I had feelings for her.

I had to do something about it. I had to do what was best.

I don't like being the bad guy, but I had reasons and I know I did the right thing. We're opposite people and it wouldn't work. I didn't deserve her.

I had to crush her fairytale dream, and that meant being an asshole to her. Do you think I wanted to stand her up after she opened up to me like that? Telling the guys we hooked up was too far, and Holly was the tipping point.

I would be miles away from her all the time and it wouldn't be fair to her

Harry was in on my plan last night.

He agreed that I would crush her feelings and she didn't deserve what the future of us would've held. He was the one who made sure I got walked in on. He was the inside man.

He knew how she felt about me because of Kelly.

But of course, Madison would never know that.

I hate to make her hate me.

I was dreading class today. I didn't want to see her at all. She may have a reason to get over her feelings for me, but I still had the time to get rid of something I had for her.

My alarm sounded again but I couldn't find the life in me to get out of bed. I was up all night doing my project and talking to Harry.

He knows what he's talking about.

I sighed and stared at the ceiling. No more than forty eight hours ago she lay in these sheets with me. Throwing the covers off me, I got my crap together to make it to class.

I don't want to hear anyone say that men grieve in different ways. I mean, we do, but mentally, we deny it but we feel the same. We just act differently than women.

I needed to work out after this class because I was in for some major anger control.

At school, I sat in my car resting my head on the wheel and thinking about having to see the one person that wouldn't get out of my head.

And then my car door opened and slammed. Picking my head up off the wheel and just staring out the windshield in silence, I didn't even look at who was sitting in my passenger seat.

"What's wrong with you?" Nate asked, breaking the silence while the rain hit the windshield

"Why are you sitting in my car this early?" I asked him. Nate never left the house unless it was for football or a party.

"I went for a run. I couldn't sleep, so I kept thinking about the game. Why are you upset?" He asked and I stayed quiet, not wanting to admit that my playboy days may have been over.

"Is this about Blake coming over last night?" He asked and I turned to look at him. I looked back at the clock on the dash and saw I was already five minutes late. "She didn't sleep with you, did she?"

I nodded.

"I figured after Kelly yelled at you yesterday.." He continued and I swallowed.

"I don't know how to handle football and my feelings"

Nate laughed. "I love you, dude and I'll always be here. But it's not time to play the victim. I'm getting out of this car, you're going to go and pull out the best apology your heart can think of. We all have to apologise to her after thinking she hooked up with you" he patted my shoulder and got out of the car.

Fuck.

I slammed the steering wheel, grabbed my bag and got out of the car to walk to class. Walking to the building and getting soaked by the rain, was the most pitiful thing. I opened the door and walked down the hallway to the class