His Little Amelia

|78| • Everest

I barely had my phone on me during the past few days, when my phone buzzed the first time in the morning, it was the jewellery store. The ring I paid for was done. The news made my heart clench; I debated silently with myself, confused about whether to pay the remaining half of the money or request a refund. Honestly? I was tempted to do the latter, but as things were panning out, I wasn't sure I could proceed with the proposal.

I was hurt, and I didn't think she was ready for marriage. Sure I wasn't the judge of that, but from where I stood, she was still the naive girl I hopelessly fell in love with. Perhaps I should have talked myself out of it, but I grabbed my coat and went out the pick the ring regardless of what ran through my mind.

The ring glimmered, the diamond taunting me. I was buying a ring I wasn't sure I was going to use.

Ha...was this the height of hope?

When I was done with the pick-up, I headed back home, deciding to be less pathetic. Arranging my room was the start, I eventually started working out and lost count of how many push-ups I did. For every thought of Amelia, I added a sum of five to the exercise -- to put it lightly, my arms were throbbing when I was done. Panting, I got up, working on my legs.

I recalled a bit of training we usually did in the army, the boys and I would gather in the room after lights out, exercising until one of us dropped out or surrendered. It was something fun we thought of, but now here I was, alone in my room doing these workouts to stop thinking of the hurt in my chest. Letting out shaky breaths, I slowly laid both legs on the floor, looking at the ceiling.

I couldn't keep staying here.

The only reason I left was because I needed to take a breather, I needed to be anywhere but there. It had been a little over one week and I knew the longer I stayed, the more worried my family was. Whenever I thought of going back to see Amelia, a nudging feeling kept me from doing so. I had read her message that day when she said she was going to therapy now. It shocked me, but I was a bit glad too. Admittedly, those words picked at my skin after I'd thought about it over and over, it was so easy for her to say. Yet I couldn't bring myself to admit it all this while.

Right, when last did I even attend therapy?

I had been too busy sulking and hiding in the four corners of my room to go and be more vulnerable with the woman. I couldn't imagine how I'd begin to tell her that the love of my life kissed another guy. Not only was it embarrassing but it was also gnawing on my ego. What did that prick have that made her want to be his friend so darn much? Was it because he was closer to her age group? No matter how much I pondered, I didn't seem to get it.

Laying my head on the mattress, I looked up at the light fitting, it was turned off, I preferred to be in the dark these days. "Amelia..." I heard myself calling, raising my hand above my face, spreading out five of my fingers. "I want us to talk about this...but, I don't know." I mumbled, covering my face with my palms.

"I miss you," I mumbled to myself.

It was nearly impossible not to miss her. Her smile, her kind self, the way she giggled at my jokes, the way her eyes lit up whenever I made a dish for her, the way she offered to bake us something even though I barely had ingredients for that. I missed her words, her hands on mine, I missed her. Damn it. I hated this. Leaving was more torture than I thought, each passing day left my body numb and my heart heavy. The mere look at Abel had me glancing away, their resemblance toyed with my emotion way too much.

Did she miss me too?

I chuckled to myself, that wasn't the right question to ask. I was more curious about whether she was willing to change. I didn't want what we had to end, not this way, not now or shortly. I meant what I did by buying that engagement ring.