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Trying to Help Jonathan After Melissa's Death

Trying to Help Jonathan After Melissa's Death

After my mother died my father remained with me and my mother's parents at Grand for a couple of weeks until my grandparents wanted him out of their house, essentially making him homeless and without a vehicle. I don't know my grandmother's exact feelings about my father because in her entire life I not once heard her speak negatively towards anyone. My grandfather on the other hand didn't respect my father, and pretty much hated him for taking away and not providing for his daughter, also my grandfather never drank or allowed it so knowing my father would drink up to 20 beers a day made him not approve of his character and morals. In later years I would look at wedding photos that contained my parents and both sets of grandparents and the thing that stood out the most was in over a dozen photos not a single person was smiling.

Anyways once they wanted my father gone I began worked with him by doing job applications online, one of which was A large retail store and he was interviewed and hired. I helped him find an apartment to rent, and a car to buy. Before all of this I would sit in the living room with my father with a pen and per, using my cell phone as a calculator and did the math for him, working out a budget taking into the account his pay, hours worked, and hard vs soft bills. My father would tell me as we did this that "you have no idea how much you're helping me." He would say this on multiple occasions when we were there together in Bennington. At the time I didn't think I was helping or doing anything out of the ordinary. His wife had just passed and he was essentially homeless and despite all that happened before, he was still my dad.

Fortunately for him and I, my grandparents allowed him to live with me in their home until I could take him to view an apartment and solidified a vehicle and job. In the manner of a week or two I worked to get my father moved and even went to garage sells to purchase furniture, a microwave, and his biggest splurge was a t.v. from another large retail store. Again fortunate for us, my grandparents had a Chevy 1500 truck we could use, so getting him set was pretty easy it was about a single full bed of furniture and such.

About a week or less after I got my father set-up he had a car with insurance, a job, a place to live, I had to go back to Ohio to attend Ohio ST in Fall of 2011 my freshman year. The last time I would see my father in Arkansas was when he and my grandmother drove me to Arkansas City for me to take a plane back to Ohio, forcing my entire life's belongings into a suitcase and two carryon bags. At the airport before security checks I turned and looked at my grandmother and father and hugged them both and said goodbye.

A couple weeks into attending Ohio State my father would tell me he was leaving everything behind in Bennington and is moving back to Ohio where he had "friends". Now after years of being alone, I completely understand his motives and it pains me to think I left him alone in Bennington with no-one. His wife had just died. Juxtapose to this view there is fact that the entire time my father lived in Bennington, my brother did as well, he just never contacted or visited him.

I can't rationalize why my brother didn't step in, there is no justifiable reason, so my father just went to work with people he didn't know and drove home to an apartment where he had to care for himself alone with nothing to do but watch t.v. and reflect on his past. I don't know what it was like for him at that apartment but the loneliness broke him and he packed up all his belongings and drove back to Ohio. I told him financially that it was a bad decision, but again in my adulthood I completely understand why he did it, the only thing is I don't know why my brother didn't invite him to socialize and be there for him like any other human being. I mean I can imagine he wasn't on the best terms with Jonathan, but that is your father, he needed you, and you couldn't take a five-minute drive to see him or invite him to go eat or go to AA meetings. All these things if I was Bryce's age I would have done, and now it is too late. 12 years too late.