Loki and Peter Parker, an unlikely friendship

Mr.Loki, This isn't How We Calm a Nine.

Peter picked up his phone to see an unknown caller trying to contact him. Normally he would deny the call in case it was a scam but Peter had a strong feeling that this might be Loki and if Loki was calling him, it meant that he was in trouble. He pressed the answer button and held the phone up to his ear only to hear a mixture of confusing sounds. What he could make out, however, was what sounded like Loki, only his words were slurred and could only be identified as gibberish. From the sound of it, Peter assumed that Loki must've accidentally called him as he was obviously unaware that Peter could hear him.

"Mr.Loki? Hello? Can you hear me? Hellooo?" Peter repeated, trying to catch Loki's attention from the other end of the call. It didn't work as soon after, the phone call ended leaving Peter once again conflicted. 

On the one hand, Loki was a God and could probably handle himself. On the other hand, Loki was beaten by the Avengers and New York had become a pretty dangerous place since then. Peter huffed at the little voice in his head that was telling him 'Loki could be in danger! What if he was in a hostage situation and was trying to call for help!? What if he's been drugged!?' Apparently that was all Peter needed to convince himself that Loki needed his help. He got out of his chair and put his Spider-Man mask on as well as his web shooters. Spider-Man would probably get more attention than Peter Parker, so he made the rational choice to only wear the mask.

He grabbed his phone and looked at the caller settings. From what he could see, Mr.Stark had downloaded a tracing app that showed Peter Loki's exact location using his phone.

"Hey Karen, can you show me the directions for this place, please?" Peter asked kindly to his personal A.I. Some screens flashed up in Peter's mask as Karen complied with his orders.

"No problem Peter." The robotic voice replied as a map with a blue line popped into Peter's vision, giving him directions and recommendations to avoid traffic although that wasn't going to be a problem for Peter.

"Thanks." He said as he unlocked his oversized window and stuck to the outside of the glass. He held out his wrists and shot his webs, swinging away to wherever the map was taking him.

It only took Peter ten minutes to find the bar Loki's phone had led him to. It was further down town from what Peter expected, an old brick building shrouded in darkness except for the street lamps and light from within illuminating the sidewalk. Hanging near the entrance was a wooden sign with a a woman's head painted on it, only the woman's hair was made up of green snakes. The sign read 'Medusa's Cavern' underneath and Peter smiled slightly as he realised. 'Only Mr.Loki would pick a snake bar.' He thought to himself as he took off his mask and shoved it into his jacket pocket. He walked towards the door and as he came closer, could hear the faint sound of music followed by cheers. Peter opened the door; what he saw shocked him to his very core.

In the bar, he could see Loki clear as day, only he wasn't sitting with a drink. No, he was standing on top of the bar counter, drink in hand and he was...singing and...dancing!? Peter couldn't believe his eyes, Mr.Loki was singing and dancing in some kind of foreign language to a bunch of strangers. But it only got worse because as soon as Peter shut the door, Loki spotted him. He stopped singing and grinned with all his teeth at Peter, giving him a friendly wave from across the room almost like a child.

"Peter!" He yelled over the crowd that was cheering him on to continue singing. He leaped off the counter, stumbling to find his balance, and pushed his way through the crowd to get to Peter. Peter tried to shove his way closer to Loki but was overpowered by the mass amount of people that occupied the bar. Loki however was successful and quickly grabbed Peter by his shoulders with a wide smile.

"Peter, you came!" He half-shouted happily.

"Mr.Loki, what are you doing!?" Peter yelled in response, holding on to Loki's arms to try and stabilise the swaying God.

"I am doing as you suggested, young Peter. I am calming my nine." Loki stated as if it was an obvious answer and in the process, took a long swig of his drink (which Peter now recognised as beer). 

"Mr.Loki, this isn't how we calm a nine!" Peter tried to explain. Loki only gave him a confused squint as he scrunched his face.

"Isn't it?" He asked, unable to comprehend what Peter was trying to say.

"No! What I meant was maybe you should go socialise with other people over a few drinks. Not get drunk!" Peter yelled in frustration.

"I am not drunk. I'm just full, but keep in mind, I'm very full." He corrected gleefully as he drank the last of his drink. Loki exhaled loudly once he'd finished and hoisted his empty glass in the air before shouting, "Another!!!" And smashed it into the ground, people around them gasped and the bartender gave them both an enraged look to which Peter gave an apologetic one back.

"Mr.Loki I think it's time we get back home now." Peter said, his confidence was a little shaky being that the bar was full of uncomfortable senses that made it difficult for him to think.

"What? No. 'm perfectly fine 'nd I will stop when I see fit." Loki stated with slurred words.

"Please Mr.Loki. You have to trust me." Peter begged trying to get the intoxicated God to see reason. Loki, however, unexpectedly grasped one of Peter's shoulders and his once goofy demeanour changed almost immediately to a dead serious one. His face was stern and his eyes held a strong gaze towards Peter.

"Peter. You are the only being in the nine realms who I trust." Loki admitted without hesitation. Even in his drunken manner he valued Peter's judgment. Peter's eyes widened and his mouth was left open a crack, he stared at Loki in shock as he took in what the God had just said. 'He only trusts me? Why just me?' Peter questioned in confusion and flattery, he took a moment to regain his grasp on reality and looked back into Loki's eyes.

"So you'll come with me, right?" He asked cautiously. Although Loki was enjoying himself, he reluctantly nodded in agreement and started to exit the building with Peter (after Peter paid for the broken glass of course.)

Once outside, Loki began to stumble over his own feet and his silly behaviour came back with a foolish smile. He proudly put his hands on his waist as he watched Peter fumbled with his web shooters.

"Ok so-" Peter began before he was cut off by Loki clutching his face with his hand. Peter's cheeks squished in Loki's gentle grasp and his lips were smushed against them forcing them to open, making Peter look like a duck with a beak.

"You remind me of those small, Midgardian wolves. What are they called?" Loki announced whilst trying to remember the name. Peter was just stood there in confusion, not knowing what to do or where to look. 

"Pun-, pup-, puppies! That's it! You remind me of the Midgardian puppies that Thor showed me! Small, adorable, talkative. Yes, you are most definitely a puppy, Peter." Loki started to ramble, making connections between Peter and puppies that totally  didn't make Peter flush red in embarrassment. 

"In fact, I shall dub you with a new name. 'Puppy' Parker." Loki giddily declared to the empty street.

"Mr.Loki- Can you let go now-?" Peter asked in a muffled voice, he was finding it difficult to talk with a smushed face. Loki released Peter's face but kept his grin from before.

"Of course Puppy Parker." Loki responded with a light laugh, Peter was praying to Thor that Loki wouldn't remember any of this by tomorrow.

"Ok, ok fine but can we please go now?" Peter asked impatiently, it was already late in the afternoon and Peter wanted to get home before the Avengers came back from their meeting.

"Very well, Puppy Parker." Loki said as Peter gave Loki's surprisingly light body a piggy back and shot his web shooter from one  other hand, using the other to support Loki's weight. And with that they set of home.

We stan ✨Drunk Loki 💅✨ Hope you all liked this chapter 😁. Also there will be an aftermath to this so stay tuned and thank you all for the support. Anyway byeeeeee.