Exit Wounds | Noah Sebastian

S E V E N T E E N

The moment I open my eyes I reach over to the bedside table and check my phone, no notifications.  I tamp down the disappointment, he probably wasn't even awake.  I smile to myself when I remember kissing him under the stars, last night had gotten off to a rocky start but it was nice.  

It wasn't as effortless as the times we were bickering over canoeing or when I thought I was going to die on the ropes course, but maybe I didn't have anything to worry about.  Noah had really made an effort and I truly appreciated it.  Was it what I wanted though?  I know that was the kind of thing I wished Caleb would do at the end of our relationship.

And then, should I even be looking for the kind of love my parents have?  What if relationships weren't the same, what if they couldn't be?  No, I didn't care what year it was, I wanted someone who truly loved me. I wasn't interested in sharing anyone either.

I check my phone for the fourth time in as many hours.  I know it was probably too early to expect to hear from him, but I was desperately hoping for some kind of contact.  

I almost throw my phone when it finally does ring.  Frantically, I check the ID and see it's my mom calling.

"Hey, mom," I say into the phone, I've been missing her terribly.

"Hey, Laney, how are you?  What's been happening?  Tell me everything," she demands unceremoniously.

She and my dad retired last year and now they spend all of their time jumping from cruise ship to cruise ship.  I haven't spoken to her in weeks.  I think they are on their way to Greece this time.

"Caleb and I broke up-"

"I hated that boy anyway, good riddance," she interrupts, and I can imagine her waving her hand in the air dismissively.

"I was homeless for a little while, but now I'm living in a basement."

"Laney! A basement?!"

"Yeah, a friends basement," I assure her.

"What friend? Finn is your only friend," she quips, and I laugh.

"His name is Noah," I tell her.

"Is he hot?" She asks, and I hear my dad shout hey in the background.

"Only if you are into tall dark and handsome," I say flippantly.

"Oh, I am," she says, and again imagine her winking at my dad.

"I miss you," I tell her, sighing.

"Why don't you and Finn and your new friend make a plan to go on our next cruise?"

"Finn and I will definitely be there, I'm not so sure about Noah."

"You like him!" She accuses.

"How do you do that?

"I'm a mom, it's a superpower," she giggles.

"I do like him, more than I should I think. I've only known him a few months, but he makes me feel so, so," I struggle to find the right words, "wild and free."

"He's nothing like Caleb."

"That sounds like a pro," she says, "stop putting so much pressure on it. Have fun with him, use him, you don't have to fall in love with every boy you meet," she tells me.

"Thanks mom, I needed that."

"I love you, honey."

"I love you, too."

I lay my phone face down beside me and power up my computer. When my thoughts of Noah threaten to consume me I know I can always count on work. I have six new emails. I make plans and set up appointments over the next couple of weeks. When I finish working I notice it has gotten dark outside. It's almost time for the time change, and my favorite holidays.