Exit Wounds | Noah Sebastian

T W E N T Y E I G H T

Noah and I spent the next three days packing my things.  And making decisions on what I needed to keep (the couch) and what needed to be sold (my car).  Finn was going to take care of letting the movers in when they came tomorrow.

Finn, Ashley and I had said goodbye last night.  They came over to the apartment and the four of us shared a bottle of whiskey like we used to.  Finn and I told our same stories back and forth and I spent most of the night crying.  I wasn't sad exactly, I didn't feel like this was forever, but I was going to miss him.  He was a 20 minute car ride away from me for 2 decades, I wasn't going to be able to see him whenever I wanted to anymore.  I tried to keep in mind I could facetime him every night and I had plenty of airline miles.

It was time to cut ties here, the last thing to tie up was my blog.  I had stayed up half the night typing up the exact words I wanted to say.  To say thank you for my success, and to announce I was moving to Los Angeles. It was so fucking nerve wrecking typing my last blog about Nashville. I would be renaming my brand in the days coming, and that also scared me. What if people didn't want to support me anymore? I shook off the thought so I didn't talk myself off of the plane. 

Going to the airport with Noah was becoming a circus.  People stopped him more and more and we were being seen together and I think I understood why he got rid of social media.  Noah and I sat in first class together, drinking champagne, with my headphones blaring in my ears because not even him made me at peace on a plane.

I had packed a carryon of things to live on until my things arrives next week.  We were going to have to put our feet to the pavement trying to find a house.  I didn't mind living in the crowded house for a while, but I needed my own space.

"I can't believe you are coming home with me," Noah muses as he kisses my knuckles. The fasten seatbelt sign was off now and I had just taken out my headphones.

"I can't believe you want to take me home," I tell him.  I was sure he could have anyone in the world.  He was dating a model two weeks ago. I was nothing in comparison.

"There's no one I've ever wanted more," he sighs, like he can't really believe we have found our way back to each other.

"Here," Noah says, putting a beanie on my head and large sunglasses to hide my face. He does the same dance, pulling up his hoodie and putting on sunglasses. We wheel our things outside, escorted by security to a nondescript car away from the main entrance of the terminal. We slide into the car undetected.

"I feel like I'm dating a spy," I laugh, pulling the disguise off.

"I'm sorry, you'll get used to it," he says, watching the scenery change out of his window. 

"I don't mind sharing you with the world," I tell him, squeezing his hand.

We pull up to the house, the one Sage forced me back to a couple of weeks ago.  That one decision set me on a trajectory I could have never dreamed up.  I never would have guessed I would run into Noah, let alone make friends with his friends.  Now I was moving into this house, while we looked for a house together.

I don't know how this is my life.

The door opens and Sage comes out to greet us, she pulls me into a hug while Noah grabs our things.  Nick and Jolly and Jesse are waiting for us when we walk into the house.  I haven't lived with anyone since Caleb, I didn't even count living with Noah because we had separate spaces, going from having my own space to sharing with 7 other people was not going to be an easy adjustment.  I just hoped Noah and I found a house soon.

Noah steps into the house behind me, kisses my hair, and takes our bags up to his room.  Our room, for the time being.  I desperately wanted to go put my things away, to have some semblance of control in my new situation.  Instead, I put on a mask and sat with Sage, listening while she talked all about what we were going to order in for dinner and asked what neighborhood I wanted to live in.  I heard Noah on the stairs behind me, I turn to lock eyes with him.  He smiles at me, then frowns.