Jake Webber X Johnnie Guilbert Smut And Fluff

Grief(Angst?)

(A/N at the end)
No smut at all
Tw:
Mention of suicide
Grief over a loved one

I will NOT warn you again.

I love you all.

Jakes POV:

"It's been a week.

I miss him.

I miss his smile.

His eyes.

His laugh.

His voice.

I miss recording with him.

I miss everything." I tear up looking away from the camera.

"This isn't my place to tell you this, but I feel like... Oh fuck.. " I say, tears falling down my face.

My heart racing.

Memories flooding back to when I saw him.

Lifeless.

Bleeding.

His eyes white.

And the note.

"Johnnie killed himself" I say, my voice breaking.

Sobs leaving me.

"A-and. I found h-him. I want... To read you.. The note h-he left." I say reaching on the desk and grabbing the folded paper.

I hold it for a few seconds.
Heart racing.

I open the note.

I breathe in.

"I-i want Jake to read t-this to my followers. 'Jesus, dude, sorry I'm r-really trying my hardest to read this'... Thank you, for the best years.. Of my li-life... You've helped me... So much. I care a-about all of you. I'm so.. Sorry this i-is h-ow I w-went out." I cry out rubbing my eyes.

I've never felt pain like this before.

I've never cried like this before.

I clear my throat and begin reading again.

"None of this.. I-is your fault." I food the note back and set it on the desk.

Tears stream down my face.

Silent sobs leave me.

"So.. Uhm. Fuck dude.. I-i can't believe his actually gone." I say grabbing the sleeve of the hoodie I was wearing.

It was Johnnies.

It smelt like him.

It brought me comfort.

"I wanna be h-honest with you all. A-and tell you, how I feel." I say trying to calm my tears.

After a few minutes I begin speaking.

"I love Johnnie. And I know l-love is a strong word. But I mean it. Johnnie was a light I never knew i needed until I met him. He always new how to cheer me up, he always had my back. He always held my hair out of my face when I'd be vomiting after drinking to much" I chuckle slightly, a tear falling from my eye.

"If there is one thing I know.. It's that. I'll never be the same. And thats why I'm quiting YouTube. I-i don't think I could ever do this without Johnnie. I-i need him in my life. i-i re-... Really do." I say choking on a sob.

"He's my everything. He was my reason to keep trucking forward. He made my life worth living." I say smiling slightly, thinking of all the memories I had with him.

"There's one more thing.. I-i went on Johnnies phone and found a voice recording. Labeled... Jake. And so uhm.. F-fuck dude.. Let me j-just play it." I say. My voice shaking.