Be the good to my bad

Watch out for blood.-Mio

I'm confused right now.
I can say that's better than anxious.
And my heart doesn't stop aching,but I don't know why.Thats why I'm confused.It would've been better if I didn't know the reason behind it too but I do know it.Better than I should've. I haven't seen him for three days and when I  should be relieved  I'm not.My heart aches that I haven't seen him.I know it shouldn't and I know I should fight this,I should lie to myself, but I just can't. This will make me coward again.I haven't seen his face nor have I heard his voice.Maybe that's for good.Tgat way nothing uncomfortable will happen again like last time.

I can't believe him.He touched my cheek again,with blood.With his own blood.I shouldn't be so calm saying that.I shouldn't sound so calm.This all is so wrong.I can't do this.I can't continue with this,maybe he thinks that way too.Maybe that's why he stopped...No,forget it.Just stop feeling for second all of this.I talked with aunt Yamaki yesterday it was nice for a moment it helped me.
I tried contacting with Nikko asking but nothing helped.It's like he vanished and I'm not sure who to ask about that,who can I trust...I just hope he's okay now.

I look in the mirrors for the last time.Even though the dress code was white but Jonathan said it was fine and yet I don't want the eyes on me  thinking im different from them.I don't want the judge in their eyes.
I'm with long elegant black dress with pearls on my ears and necklace from pearls on my neck my hair was in elegant bun.Britney's mother tried to make me put make up on but I refused.I was never good with it and admitting that to other besides aunt Yamaki it's embarrassing.

"You look beautiful,sweetheart."Mom  comes next to me.I smile.
"I can say the same for you."She laughs.My mother is the most beautiful women I've ever seen.With middle white dress with long sleeve, her hair in a bun with pearls on,her face with modern make up on and big bringtfull smile that makes her ten years younger.
"Mom you know the deal."I say taking my phone.She hugs me.
"I know, I know."She smiles.
"I'm just happy you started opening up to others too. Even if it's just by baby steps.Its good you and Landon are in good terms now."
I swallow.My heart does this strange thing again.Aches.
"Come."We go down.

And here it comes my anxiety.
Here are epeiple gathered most of them are old but all elegant and in white.The music is also elegant, richy one.I look around seeing Lily,Andreas,Jacks,the pretty girl from the wedding I see Britney talking to Alice.I smile and wave but she just drinks her drink and looks away.

Ow.

She haven't talked to me whole two days,it's like  she's anxious or something.I though that when she protected me  that night, we've become close.But I was wrong.
My stomach switches when I remember his face from that night and I close my eyes.I still can't forget it,his bloody face,his hot and strange gaze.I got goosebumps.

"Hi Mio.You look good."Lily comes up to me and gives me a  drink.I smile.
"Thanks,you too."She looks me all aprund but doesn't doesn't anything instead she drinks her drink.
"Drunk up it's good."
I look at my drink and before drinking it a hand snatches it from my hand .
"Thanks,cousin.",Andreas grins.
"Give it to Mio,asshole take another one."Lily narrows her eyes at him.
" Why when you liked this one?"
"You-"
"Leave it,it's fine I'll just have another one."I look to mom as she talks with guest with Jonathan and she nodds smiling."Excuse me."I walk up away from them and go all the way to my room closing it and take a manga out.
I sit on my bed and start reading.I better finish this I always stop when I need to continue this.

Honestly I completely understand the fl.She wants normal life ,she struggles to make the two ends she needs good job and money not two guys making her choose just because they are selfish rich assholes who can't they no for an answer.But on the other hand if they had taken no for an answer there wouldn't be story in the first place.The FL would get her happy ending.She wouldn't become  mother with happy family if she happened to get normal life.

I remember when I was younger and I'd eat lunch alone at the school's back mom would tell me to make friends. When I'd tell her I don't want my life more complicated she'd tell me when there is nothing happened by coincidence.Everythink happens for a reason.Bad think is I don't want to be fl who takes the ceo and marries him for money.I want to be the side character who has an actual normal life.

My phones rings and I open it.
"It's time ,sweetheart. Britney will blow the candles. "
"I'm coming. "I hang up and stand and go down.There is birthday music on and everyone are gathering oround the gig table in the middle.Mom waves for me but then I see across her the monster I wanted to not see.I had the tiny hope he won't come and yet he was here,looking at me.He always does that.He switches so fast and that should back me off.Ive never like this epeiple never thought of being close to them even as a classmates but this time I'll look away. I look at mom instead and I walk to her.
"Make a wish,darling."Her mother pats her shoulder.Hrr beatifull bromw hair is down ,shes in white dress with make up on she really looks older.She closes her eyes and for a breath my eyes meet with his.When she opens them I move my eyes looking everywhere but not at him.

For real i even looked up for help or what I don't know don't ask me.

I hear clapping and I start clapping too.
"Happy birthday!"
Everyone go and congrats her some shake hands some hugs.I just nod her and this time she nods back.
Lily,Andreas,Jacks and...Landon go up while people make them space.
"You should go too Mio. "Jonathan says to me.
"Om every birthday they go and congrats the person ."I look at them when they were still waiting.
"I don't know..."I look around.
Mom smiles at me,I feel my head dizzy as I go next to them ,people start clapping to ,again,too loud.
Landon points place next to him.While im not sure if I should go near him im sure I'd ont want to make things complicated so i go and stand next to him between him and  Andreas.

"Happy birthday cousin, hope you're doing always well and be happy.Don't be scared doing whatever you want."Landon says and they Clapp with big smiles.Then he looks at me as he tells me.

Let's see if you'll beat this.

I look at him and smile fakely like he always does.

I don't play your sick games.

But he goes down.I can't help feel the emptiness but I manage to keep poker face.
"Happy birthday Britney.May God bless you and your family.Be happy and healthy."They clapping their hands and I go down next to mom.
As Andreas goes I can't hear his voice I can only feel Landon's present how close he was next to me.How childish I must've looked  around him.And when I tried not to notice him.I couldn't help but feel the relief of seeing him with black suit. The same blue eyes ,the same devilish smirk like.He was grinning and talking with his friend who also happens to be jn black suit.Like he wasn't the guy from that night.

As I hear the claps I clap too.And he goes down.Lily smiles for everyone.
"I just want to say I'm the happiest-"

"How dare you bitch?"

We everyone look up from there to see on  the TV Lily in the bathroom.
I see her face as she turns to the TV.Horrified.

"How can they think?Me!Lily!Fucking!Asher!Will go down on second place just beacuse of that cunt!"

Everyone ahead. Someone scoffed but I didn't saw who.
"Oh my God."I heard mom.

"I mean why should I care she lost her parents, she's only child and blah blah blah!?She can't pull a goddammit dog!How can the others expect her to be the main cheerleader, huh?"
Another girl laughs next to her.The pretty one.
"I heard there is this guy she likes..."She laughs and Lily smirks.
"She'll fall in my palm then I'll fuck him and her and her fucking dead father and-"

"Stop!Stop all of this!"Lily cries out.
"Hey stop it!"Jack shouts but then a red paint falls on them and everyone backs away yelling, others were laughing.Mom hugged me pulling me back.

As they yell and talk Lily's parents go and shake her around ,Jack tries to go down but he falls down ripping his pants.
I hear curses ,bad words,yelling  but my eyes are on the paint and the realization hits me.

It's not paint ,it's blood.

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