If We Could Have It Again

8- THE REGRET

*Diya*

Regret..... I regret everything that happened. I regret the moment I received that call.... I regret the second I said yes to meet him for the coffee..... I regret the day I agreed to go for dinner..... I regret the moment I stepped into the hotel. I regret the moment I picked up the glass of that God damned wine..... I regret the dance..... I regret the way my heart beat when Arjun turned me around and guiding his lips to mine.... I regret the most passionate kiss of my life..... Heck, I regret the the day I said yes for the marriage with Arjun....

It was getting difficult to avoid eye contact with my family, answering Kiran's questions and hiding those marks on my body.... The concealer wasn't doing a good job.... Maa and Baba were already home when I came back that day... I had to cover myself with a shawl so that they don't see anything....I lied to them, that one of my friends had jagarta at her home... Lying in the name of God! Good going bitch! Even My subconscious was disgusted with me....

I cried for three days because I was ashamed..... No matter how much I lied to myself that nothing happened.... I was drunk... I wanted to believe that I don't remember anything from that night but I do.... Every single moment.... Every single moan... Every single grunt and every fucking single thrust......
It was something I always wanted to have with Arjun, when we were married.... But.... Now..... It feels like I am doing something wrong.... I tried to argue with myself that we were still married so Arjun wasn't cheating on Aarohi or I am not the other woman..... But I don't know what was right and wrong.... I just wanted to forget everything.....

Arjun didn't call, or text in these three days.... That way I was relieved.... I don't care about the divorce papers right now, I just don't want to face him... I don't want to see that smig smile on his face when he gives me that you can't resist me darling look....

This was that moment in my life that I know, all the love I had for Arjun flew out of the window and I feel resentment towards him.... I never wanted to see him ever again and only way to do that is to face him one last time... In the court, telling the judge that we don't want to be together and part our ways forever.... But I don't want to beg him for signing the papers anymore.... I did my part and more... Now it was his turn and of he refuses I am determined to see him court....

But as of now I need to gather back myself and my life. I need to focus and like Kiran says stop pinning on that man for anything be it love or comfort....

Fourth day when I finally was done grieving I decided that I need to go back to work, it has already suffered alot.
Aarohi and Arjun were having what they always wanted in life that is to be together. So I too, have a right to get what I want to join back at work, work hard and achieve something there and someone who loves me.

I picked up my phone and called Ishaan.... My boss....
"Hey Ishaan!" I tried to sound happy.

"Hey Diya!" His soft yet strong voice came from the other side.

"Am I still not fired? Do I still have my job?" I tried being calm.

"Diya! You know that position is always yours!! Do you think I can let you go so easily?" I could hear him smile, his ever polite smile.

"I will be there in a few days Ishaan, I will send you the exact dates once my tickets are done! Trust me I want to join back as soon as possible...." I said

"No worries! I have done the tickets, your flight is in three days, so start packing and come back soon. I had done extra work in your absence... I need a loooooong vacation now!" He laughed softly.

"Ishaan!! You... Thank you so much.... You know you are the best boss..." I said smiling, genuinely, after a long.

"Boss? Okay so I should be talking to you like one and not like a friend who misses you." He said.