If We Could Have It Again

11- I PROMISE DARLING!

*ARJUN*

Three months.... It's been three months, I last saw Diya. My heart hurts everytime I think about her. It almost feels like I miss her...

I tried to reason the pain which I felt because of her absence with the fact that I was used to with her being around. I thought I was upset that she brought divorce was because I thought I would be the first to ask for it and when she said that she wants to get separated my ego got hurt.
But who was I lying to.... I would have divorced her after sometime.... After all the love of my life was back.... We wouldn't talk or even look at each other but I think her presence has grown on me....

Dinner is ready Arjun!

Can you drop me to Bauji's home... He said he was missing me...

Your keys!

Your diary!

Your pen!

Your wallet!

I am not feeling well Arjun! I don't want to go to that business party!

Seven years in a marriage and our conversation was limited to these few lines.

Seven years is a long time to have so little talk.... The time we got intimate she hardly spoke a word.... Even muffle down her moans... As I look back now, I feel so petty of myself.... I never even asked her if she wanted it.... How patient she had been with me that on some days when we were done I would straight go to the bathroom, clean up and start working on to search for Aarohi not even looking back at her... She would pick her clothes up quietly and walk to the bathroom without making a sound.... I guess it was because of something I said when I was irritated because I went to Chandigarh because someone told me that she might be there at her home place but she wasn't there as well... Her step-mother didn't even let me in the house.... I was furious, when I came back she asked me where I was and I said that her voice irritates me, of possible she should just keep her mouth shut in front of me.... And she never spoke to me again.... She didn't ask for divorce she just sent the papers....

She said, she loved me back then... Was that the reason she was putting up with me? Even when I was just a bastard who would use her to dump my frustrations... Of loosing Aarohi..... Believing that she was dead, getting married and not able find her out after so long....

I remember it was our 6th anniversary when I saw Aarohi after so long.... She stood there, in front of me at that restaurant where my father has arranged a dinner for us.... I was shaking as Aarohi stepped towards the table and sat infront of me.... Only to realise after sometime that Diya has already left.... 

I am sitting at the same restaurant today... All the memories of that day came afresh... Only difference was that the woman sitting in front of me was Aarohi... The one I wanted to be with..... Celebrating every moment like it was a damn carnival.... Yet here I was missing Diya to be on my side.... Sitting quietly.... Looking at me with some hopes of me giving her attention.... Sitting here, I was still as indifferent as I was earlier with Diya.... The difference was Aarohi complained about me being not present while Diya would just keep looking at me with hope....

I remember the last time we were together, the admiration she had for me, that need to grab my attention was missing..... The Last time we were together she just came in to ask for divorce and gave in to my sexual desires because I missed her body... Which would melt beneath me, no matter what.....

Or I just organically missed her presence in my life... The way she would always smile when I was back home.... Asked Dadi the recipe of perfect chikkad chole because I love it..... Or just look at me when I was working in the study....