My Bad Boy Protector ✔

Chapter 31 : Reminiscent Tears

**This was supposed to be updated from yesterday... *cries becuz sleep is a bish*

Okay, so the first thing I wanna talk about is Ariana Grande's 'Christmas & Chill' EP. I cannot even describe what those six songs did to me like, asdfghjkl, it definitely made my holidays a whole lot better so thank you Ariana for being so fab and talented. Best Xmas gift ever! XO

Secondly, I'll be posting three chapters, this one included, one after the other. Think of them as a post Christmas gift to you guys. I hope you enjoy. :)))

Chapter 31 : Reminiscent Tears

"Unbelievable..." I sighed as I took in the huge cabin we had just entered.

The exterior of it didn't give the inside any justice. The interior of the cabin was so much more fantastic. With the smell of something sugary sweet, cozy looking furniture (a fireplace included) and fine decor I was in awe while on the other hand The Parkers looked unfazed.

I didn't blame them actually. They probably visited here multiple times so the scenery got dull and didn't excite them as much anymore.

"Let's have a tour shall we?" Marie said and we all gathered our belongings as she began to walk away.

"How often do you guys come here?" I couldn't help but ask Alex who had managed to steal one of my bags in his possession.

I argued with him that I could carry it myself but Alex was unyielding.

He glanced down at me and the reflection of the specks of flames from the fireplace showed in his eyes as we walked past giving it an imaginable red and blue glow.

"Every Christmas usually." He answered.

"But we're in September."

"Yeah, but we'll be coming back trust me. My family loves this place as much as I do. Alli and I have been coming here since we were kids and this place brings back tons of memories. Good memories." He sighed as he looked around the place.

As we walked down the hall it displayed family photos. They were either laughing, on some kind of vacation or simply being a family.

Something caused me to freeze as I saw a big picture of all of them.

I could feel Alex take his place next to me and saw the rest carry on without knowledge of us stopping.

I gazed at the photo and emotions that I thought I had buried began to resurface. As I looked at the picture I couldn't help but notice the similarities of Alex's family and mine. Well, my old family. The one that I had long forgotten what it felt like to be apart of.

With the older brother smiling broadly as his arms are slung around his younger sister's shoulders, she smiling in joy up at him and the mother and father gazing at their beautiful creations in nothing but pure love.

I yearned for that feeling once again.

My lips began to quiver and my eyes burned and without my doing a sob cut through the silence.

Alex gripped me by the arms facing him. His face displayed the pity and sadness he felt for me. I could see that he had read me and knew what was on my mind. How he did it still marvels me.

"Carrie-"

"I want that life back Alex!" My voice cracked and I swallowed harshly trying to hold back the tears that we were beginning to escape.

Alex shook his head, his grip never slackening.

"I'm sorry. I know-"

"No!" I interrupted, wiping away tears that began to slide down my cheeks. "You don't know. You don't know what it feels like having to go through every single day knowing that the one person you love most is gone. The person who brought you into this cruel world and was supposed to mourn when you leave it. You don't know what it feels like to wake up every day and your only brother's god knows how many miles away living his life as if you don't exist. As if you mean nothing whatsoever to him. Not even a letter he sends me to tell me how he's doing and asking about how I am. Nothing. It makes me feel as I'm nothing myself."

Anger flashed across his features. "That's not tru-"

"You have no clue as to how many times I've thought about ending it. About killing myself," I choked out and I felt his grip tightened on my arms.

"About how a few pills or a sudden 'accident' can take away that feeling. That feeling that makes you feel as if you're in the ocean, drowning, with no one to pull you out and all you do is scream and gasp for air hoping that someone will miraculously come and save you. Hope. I hope for that but it never happens Alex! I swear, you have no idea how it feels to have a dad like mine. One that is constantly away and leaves your life in the hands of a woman, who's supposed to be his wife, that abuses you every single day. And for what? Just because I didn't do the laundry or because I did something 'punishable'. So don't tell me you know-!"

Before I could finish I felt a warm pair of arms enveloped me. Almost instantly all the tears came out.

All that I had kept in for so many years. All the emotions that I had hidden deep down and swallowed just because they were deemed unworthy. All that I had suffered and all that was unfair.

I continued to sob into Alex's shirt and I slid to the ground with him in a hopeless heap of self loathe and imprisonment as I cried. I let it all out.

I knew it was inevitable that this would happen but I didn't think the memories of what used to be would be the trigger.

"I'm sorry Monroe," I heard him whispered among my sniffles and cries.

"I'm truly sorry."

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After my entire breakdown session in the hallway Alex refused to leave my side. I had argued that I was fine, which I was at the moment, but as usual he won in getting his way.

"Are you okay?" He had asked me placing a strand of hair that had escaped the ponytail I had done.

"I'm fine." I answered sighing as I gazed into his concerned eyes.

He really shouldn't be worried about me.

"Which is the equivalent to you're not fine," He sighed.

I opened my mouth to say something but he had cut me off with a kiss on the forehead that had me frozen on spot.

"I promise everything will be fine Carrie. I promise." He whispered.

I let out a breath I didn't even know I had been holding.

"Okay."

We had made it back in time to catch the rest in the kitchen without much awareness of our disappearance with the exception of Justin who asked us where we were. Alex simply told him the bathroom.

We had ignored the sly look he gave us and continued the remainder of the tour.

Presently, us girls were unpacking in the large bedroom we were placed in.

Apparently, there were only five rooms and we were placed in one with a bunk bed and a single one with the rule that boys and girls weren't supposed to be in contact with each other.

I didn't mind the rule per se but as I looked around and my eyes met with Allison's ones that gave me no idea as to what she was feeling I truly felt uneasy.

"Leona says she wants to talk to you Carrie." Justin who had just walked in said.

I stiffened, my movement of unpacking my clothes ceased and I could feel all three of their gazes.

I could feel the immediate fear I had felt washing away. It was an initial response of mine when anything concerning her came about but not anymore.

I felt myself smiling. "Where is she?"

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Guys I have to admit that I may or may not have teared up a bit at the first part of the chapter during Carrie's speech. God, *wipes away tears* it was so so sad and it came out of nowhere tbh.

Any who, question: what did you do on Christmas Day?

Byeee! Remember to read the other 2 chapters!