Shippuden 1

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Author's Note: Apparently strikethroughs do not show up in Wattpad , so anything that has "=" around it is a strikethrough. It's only for the beginning parts.

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Dear =Kanoko= Asshole,

You're an asshole.

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Yours truly,

Uzumaki Naruto – The Sixth Hokage.

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Dear Asshole/Bastard,

Its day thirty and I still haven't forgiven you.

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Yours truly,

The Sixth Hokage and all around badass.

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P.S. I hope duckbutt is making your life miserable with his life sucking emo mood swings.

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P.S.P.S You never told me that your brother latched onto anything warm and breathing while he slept... Like, what the fuck?! He's like demon-possessed koala bear that squeezes the life out of its victims! I've tried everything! Different rooms with locks, pressure activated traps, and fucking metal chains! Nothing stops him!

And what's worse, is that he doesn't even know it! And trying to tell him that he sleepwalks... The bastard just ignores me! Says that I'm not funny and that he'd know if he was sleepwalking! How the fuck would he know?! How?!

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ANSWER ME!

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Dear Arch Nemesis,

We're on our... Fifth? Sixth month? I think it has been six months since we left Konoha. Things have been pretty exciting so far... All super-secret stuff that I can't go into detail about, but let's just say some princesses were rescued, some bad guys were put down, some villages now have bridges named after me – you know, the normal things that happen to great ninjas like me.

Anyways...

=How's Sakura-chan?=

=What's been going on with our friends, specifically Sakura-chan?=

=So... Has Sakura talked about me? Like how she really misses me and how she cries herself to sleep?=

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If I get back and Sakura-chan is dating that bastard...

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Yours truly,

The most amazing ninja in =the Land of Fire= the world.

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