Holding Back [COMPLETED]

Chapter 15 - "Oh my gosh, who freaking cares?"

The air smelled of hot asphalt and the sound of students talking was like the buzzing of a fly in Haley's ear. The sun had burned away the clouds, leaving no defense against its heat. Haley didn't seem to be present enough to notice how her skin tingled as it turned pink. She squinted against the harsh light, her focus lost on the auburn-haired girl across the way. Standing with a group of friends, dressed in her gym uniform, she was smiling and talking.

To Haley, there was something in that smile that spoke of a smugness. She could only imagine the girl was talking about her time with Jace the day before. The longer Haley stared at the girl the more she couldn't understand. Why do it? Was it really worth the heartbreak? Didn't the chance of getting pregnant outweigh a few minutes of...that?

Haley didn't think so. She also didn't like seeing herself naked so she didn't understand why she would let someone else. To her, nothing good could ever come out of a relationship like that. A person would get as close to someone else as they could be only to see it all disappear. Even without that kind of relationship, Haley was seeing things disappear. Lettie was just one example of that. One day Haley had had a best friend and it felt like the next she didn't. One day her parents were happy and together and the next...she was eating pizza alone.

Eventually, Haley dragged her gaze away, knowing it would be weird if the girl looked over and saw her staring. Besides there was no changing what the girl did, why should Haley even dwell on it? Though part of her knew this logic, she still found her thoughts spinning back to the girl. None of it was ever worth it, why didn't everyone see that?

She was distracted from her whirring mind by the appearance of their teacher.

"Alright class, let's huddle up," Mr. Swanson said.

Reluctantly, Haley pushed herself up and she wandered over to the tall, tan-faced man. Around her, her fellow peers clustered together, still sticking to their chosen packs. Even dressed in the same outfit the dividing lines between the students were clear.

There were the girls with their hair up, faces touched with just the perfect amount of makeup and wearing the uniforms like they were designer. In their vicinity were the sports players that filled out the gym clothes better than anyone else. There were the kids just trying to get by and looked out of place no matter where they were. Band kids happy when among their own kind. The socially awkward and the athletically impaired.

When they looked at her, Haley wondered which box they dropped her into. Though on the thinner side, she didn't wear makeup so she wasn't able to fit in with the popular girls, but she wasn't athletic either. Was she the socially awkward kid? The weird loner? She didn't feel like any of these labels would fit her. But then why did they fit everyone else?

As Haley moved forward she found herself bumping elbows with Ty, though the girl didn't notice, whispering to Josie. She shifted away, not that excited with having to hear another conversation about people she didn't know and didn't care about. She was saved from that fate when Mr. Swanson started talking.

"Okay, today we will be doing our weekly mile run. I will be recording times so try to finish under twenty minutes. Alright, get to it."

He blew his whistle, the sound shrill and piercing. Everyone turned and trudged to the track. Some of the more physically inclined students jogged ahead of the group. Once she hit the red turf, Haley started jogging. It was a half jog, half quick walk. As paces were set, the group slowly scattered. Though not that fast, Haley still slowly broke away from the congested crowd, trailing along with more a few others.

"Did you see the picture of Johnny and Georgina Burns?" a voice said behind Haley.

Without looking back, she knew who it was. It could only ever be one of two people.